@Ananymous: well done.

Go thy ways to a nunnery, bitch.

Not the show at its best,
but still damn fine TV. I thought Topher's b-day treat was particularly humanizing (which was much needed), and Adelle officially topped my list of favorite characters. Ballard added some kick-ass darkness to his Boy Scout persona, and the whole fuckin' thing is ripe for an implosion. Here's…

O'Neal, you're a goddamn poet.
"Hence the unstaunched flood of arterial bleeding from America's decapitated head that is reality television, which only continues to pool and congeal around our increasingly useless feet with each passing season."

Jamie Foxx in: The Brother in the Striped Pyjamas.

In fact, I think ripping off a tremendous douche like Dane Cook makes his half-brother the anti-douche.

Aw, he's wearing a suit!
He thinks he's people.

Dear Lauren Conrad,
My name is Prison Wine. I am not a fan of yours, as I don't watch your television show, but I am aware of your existence via our collective pop culture experience. I would like to thank you in advance for wandering into a busy intersection and getting fatally struck by a 1991 Lincoln Continental.…

I agree. These subhumans actually have to live with themselves.

Ladies and gentlemen, boo this man!

I hear they've already tapped Rodriguez to reboot the Toy Story franchise. It'll be live action this time, and set in the post-apocalyptic hellscape of the not-so-distant future.

Fear.

Frank Pussykiller.

Sorbo, now. My comment was made infinitely better by wsvon's.

Wheaties: breakfast of champions.

Yeah, Woody was fuckin' committed, man. That goddamn paparazzo should have known better than to screw with a man who'd been fake-fighting fake zombies for a couple of months.

That got a belly laugh out of me, mrs. izzard. I owe you.

So I was in the Walmart last night—you know, to get some prunes and some diet, caffeine free Dr. Pepper—and I saw some "emo" kids over in the music section. "Whaddya little scamps listening to?" I asked them. And you know what they said? You'll never believe what they said. Do you want to know what they said? They…

::elbows mrs. izzard in the ribs::

Think again!