Immoratlity refers to the rats that congregate in me lower decks whenever me TV is turned on to a Miracle Day ep. Filthy vermin seem to be the only folk gettin' any enjoyment outta this televised equivalent of keelhauling. Yee-arr!!! PRIDE AND PREJUDICE! I be a sexy vampire with Down's Syndrome.

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that this series has been a jagged piece of driftwood through the heart of this old sea dog, robbing me of all PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. So much potential with the concept, new location, and 10-episode expanse and all that can be mustered up by Cap'n RTD is "immoratlity =…

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that dear Poseidon, The Time (Dirty Bit) is a scurvy dog, and I don't even shiver me timbers about the original. William (I'm not spelling it the piratey way he wants it to be spelled, due to his PRIDE AND PREJUDICE) should be made to walk the plank for it and every…

Yee-arr, Leroy, you know… sometimes I get the feeling that you're friends don't like me very much…

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that the Jersey Shore phenomenon has no place with such strapping seafaring gents as the Three Stooges, even if it ain't really them, but a phantom 'o' some sorts. The Farrelly Brother's scurvy deeds will earn them a one-way passage to the boneyard!!

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that I absconded with the BBC's collection o' Trouhgton's footage during an inland raid and then lost the booty to the harsh and unforgiving sea! Forgive me, Who fans, he was me favorite, I couldn't help meself!!! I feel no PRIDE AND PREJUDICE from my deeds…

Yee-arr! Yelling at the guy with Down's Syndrome. Real mature, you be.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

Yee—arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that Glee is a big deal but certainly not with this salty sea dog. More Rob Thomas stuff, on the other hand, is better than a sack full of dubloons!!!!

Yee-arr! Thanks for the support, Lemur! I was considerin' returnin' to my life on the open sea due to negative reaction to me posts, but you've convinced me otherwise! You want me to give you my schtick? You got it, laddie!

Yee-arr!! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that cable porn keeps me happy on those lonely nights at sea… and in me sexy vampire crypt! If this business ever goes to Davy Jone's Locker it'll be a sad day indeed for sailors such as meself. It takes a lot of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE to admit that.

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that any nautical reference be good enough for a sexy vampire like me! A pass on this episode, and a sailor's salute to Matt Groening for exercising the PRIDE AND PREJUDICE to best episode this episode!!!

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that I can make a Trainspotting reference just as well! I… on the seven seas I sometimes see a baby on a ceiling, or Ewan McGregor with his hands in his pants….

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged I choose to continue my life on the seven seas! Except when my sexiness is too much for crewmembers, or when the sun ruins me vampire complexion.

Yee-arr, it be a truth universally acknowledged…
that Gossip Girl's guilty pleasure status was as short-lived as Prison Break's in that regard. Now it serves no point other than to make me beg for the sweet release of the Kraken's mighty tentacles. Not even a life hunting treasure can keep me hear, what with my PRIDE…

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that as far over the horizon as it may be, I be most looking forward to the recap of Goodbye, Me Little Viking, As a wee lad it tugged right at me heartstrings.

Yee-arr!!! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
well, only by me, really, that George was always a very sympathetic character. All of his foibles were brought on his own head and he couldn't pilot a ship to save his life but his insistance that he deserved better always endeared this sailor's heart to him. He may…

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that Francis Ford Coppola's scurvy acts against cinema have earned him a one-way trip to the boneyard! All the PRIDE AND PREJUDICE built up from Godfather and Apocalypse Now shall earn him no favors in Davy Jone's Locker!

Yee-arr! It be a truth universally acknowledged…
that the first season finale was botched pretty badly by that scurvy sea dog M. Night. May all the PRIDE AND PREJUDICE of mighty Poseidon sink his dark vessel of mediocre product.