The dialogue is garbage. And a Hispanic dude named Crispin?! Who writes this shit?

Now Mr. Twin can fix his dazzling British smile. Huzzah!

Do guys really dig cumming and shitting at the same time? What if the poopies get everywhere? Is yucky, no?

This guy's eyes look in different directions. He had to come up with some way to get laid.

There's a city in Turkey called Batman. I'm trying to offer people something interesting since this map doesn't fit that description.

Great, now I can ignore her 24 hours a day!

No other explanation, really.

Pattinson is a terrible actor. I wanted to see the guy succeed, as it is obvious he wants to break free of the Twilight heart-throb insanity, but he just doesn't have the talent. He's awful.

You worry about worrying.

I'm being completely serious—is there any recorded footage of her singing live without a digitizing microphone?

She has no natural singing ability. Her voice is digitized garbage.

I hate this smarmy jackass with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.

Only if Shimmer non-dairy dessert topping/floor wax comes free with every purchase.

So sad to hear of his passing. I remember him most for his top 40 countdown every Sunday morning on the radio back in the 80s. He did a televised top 10 at that time, too. He had such a warm demeanor to him, you couldn't help but like him. "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."

Nice to see a couple careen happily together down the alphabet list from A/B to solid D territory.

I'm late to this party but I will always love "Brita" used as a verb and the word "SPLOOSH."

12 seasons! I'm still wondering how they've managed to keep a newborn clean and fed for a few months. Seriously, how do they keep her pooper clean?

Why does that fuck-knuckle Pattinson still get roles? He's an atrocious actor.

Well, how's he gonna find a wife now? Poor guy. Gingers really are cursed.

Reading What Ever Happened to Baby Jane and
Washington's Spies: The Story of America's First Spy Ring.