You promised me dog or higher!

Lawson is just shameless with the low-cut shirts and overly erotic eating.  Not a criticism, but it's still fun to think of some Food Network guru telling a middle-aged British woman to 'slut it up more' during the gingerbread cookie segment.

Maybe they wouldn't be so furious if they slowed down a little and took the time to enjoy the ride.

Up next: The Girl With The 'Fuck Face' Tattoo.

As per usual, the street-level thugs get all of the ire, while the REAL criminals - the director and producers -  sit in their cozy mansions.

I'd like to knock this gentleman's hustle, yet something is preventing me from doing so.

I feel like I'm married to hip-hop cliches and must recite them endlessly.

I actually missed Freaky Turtle Head.  The last Love story had a new photo.  It was like Ratner without his tome of ass.

MY SHOES HURT!

C'mon, it's hilarious.  A bunch of people with alleged authority think Glee and New Girl are two of the best shows on television.  It's like The Onion come to life.

Actually, the classic defintion of 'glee' is  'coherence, skillful writing, and continuity are for pussies.'

Holy shit, Glee.  GLEE.

I hope they don't start calling bad movies 'Adam Sandlers.'  That's what I call my sandwiches.

*Inserts xylophone sample.*

The best (worst?) part?  The tag for this recap is: "it's the most horrible Glee of the year!"  Except Todd can't be sure of that - who knows what the rest of the year will bring.  He could be braindead by sweeps.

Lesbian bed death in the first month.  Poor kids.

I always liked the politeness of the "please" in front of the album title.  Hammer MIGHT still hurt you, but he's not unreasonable.

He was in the fucking Godfather, for cryin' out loud.

My only memory of her from SNL is that Bathroom Monkey skit. 

Ah, 90's Garofalo… my heart still has a little angry place for her.