Yeah, I'm lucky to get $7 for a matinee. Anything past that is ten bills easy, plus whatever surplus charges for 3D or Imax or non-sticky floors. Once movie ticket prices and release-day DVD prices match up, the continued success of theaters will become an even larger mystery.

Sorry, cuzn, but it is, in fact, 'stories.' Trust me on this.

I do, but I really don't think an Internet message board is the appropriate place to discuss that sort of thing.

Finally, a chance to verify the Beastie Boys' claim that they have more stories than J.D. has Salingers.

You're waiting for this great twist that justifies your eleven-dollar ticket and then, POW!, out of nowhere, shitty movie.

No. No, it will not.

I think you'd all be easier on Willis if you knew what his father had gone through just to get him a stupid watch.

Basically, the major networks want their own Special Olympics so they can get medals just for showing up.

Apparently she's a burlesque dancer AND a belly-dancer. So, there's that.

My gimmick is that of a guy posting random gibberish until it's time to leave work. I believe I have succeeded in these (admittedly modest) ambitions.

Pokerface!

*Slipping on his punchin' gloves.*

You know, if they actually cast an openly gay guy to be a superspy bad-ass, I'd actually be mildly interested in the film, just for the novelty of it.

What about that huge, angry, roided-up guy from 'Bloodsport' with the big titties?

I'm glad they changed it from 'he did it deliberately' to 'woops, my bad.' It eliminates any chance of the film being dramatic or interesting.

Kindly put your nuts on the dresser, sir.

I once snuck downstairs and secretly watched a free preview weekend of Cinemax to catch 'Ski School,' which promised titties and raunchy jokes in abundance.

Nothing tackier than a man wanting to have sex with a good-looking woman.

May several large men keep a train rollin' in your anus all night long.

13 costume changes? There's another small fortune down the shitter.