Okay, I'll take your word that they're readable. But I've been burned before. I mean, I read 'Eragon', assuming it was a young-adult book, so it'd be easy but CRUSHING BOREDOM made it a lot harder to read than I'd counted on…

The way I see it, cost is yer independent variable and then the dependent is patience, or lack thereof. As cost increases, patience approaches 0 at a more or less constant rate, so I guess it's y=256-x. Patience hit 1 when cost was 255 and they stopped there and got on the phone to order bigger wallets.

Open a booth at TwiCon 2 selling "Team Carlisle, 'cuz he's a character in this, right?" shirts. Turn sadness into $$$.

I think it's the "as far as they can go" mark. They had a meeting and thought EXACTLY HOW MUCH PATIENCE (IN DOLLARS) DOES OUR AUDIENCE POSSESS? Answer: $255.

The Rifftrax is phenomenal. Especially the comparisons between Jasper and Harpo and the parts involving a stuffed armadillo. Twilight is fascinating as a cultural study area and that track makes the movie go down smooth. The books, I'm pretty sure I couldn't make it through 'em. I mean, that last one is ENORMOUS!

Creating a cultural phenomenon
Creating a cultural "thing" requires the capture of these directionless people who will squeal when you say "silver Volvo." One day, i will learn how to capture these scattered attention spans. THEN I WILL RULE THE CULTURAL ZEITGEIST! And I won't even go for a hard-sell concept like…

Is the silver screen ready for someone to "get a girl in the anal?" This fall, we find out.

You have to be more specific. I mean, this movie takes place in a strip-club and looks as fun as getting your leg caught in a bear trap.

Comedy's been limping for a while now. These last few failures are just the final burst of fully-automatic UNFUNNY straight to its brain.

It might be. At the same time, maybe not.

But the recessionistas are just trying to enjoy their funemployment.

I like the bet-hedging, though. Putting firsties and fails in the post assures that whichever is accomplished, the post suits it. Well done.

It's true
I'm a hip guy, so everything I do is done to spite presidents. Hell, I was black under Bush and Clinton and turned white to fight the power!

Soul McDawgg or something.

She's got that pointy nose that's, like, half the size of an average nose and three quarters the size of a celebrity nose. For a famous person, that counts as recognizable.

Rolling stone gives you ***1/2
Pitchfork gives you a 5.3
NME gives you 9/10
This comment is 64% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.
It has a 2/5 user rating on Amazon, but that's just haters, spammin'.

Voyeuristic photos of the violence, that is. Not just in general.

And then take voyeuristic photos and post them on their own smug web page.

Full disclosure: I watched the awful reality show where Guy Fieri got awarded his first awful Food Network show. He defeated an enormous shambling man (woman?) named Reggie who was charming in his (her?) own strange way.

Parts of her are real. Others were molded out of plastic and snapped on after the fact. Years of inoffensive popstar building have combined to create this creature.