Wow, I never realized Shannon Doherty's career and my rectum had so much in common!

How did you see it? On a scale of 1 to 10, how many times did you orgasm?

I demand the sequels just be 15 hours of Jamie Dornan helicoptering his dick in an empty room.

"Boom, priapism!"

It's not that I have the mindset "People must message me because I won't message them!" it's just that very few profiles honestly catch my interest.

Awww thanks IK. You are too kind to me!

Thanks! You're the first person to give Marion a shout out for The Immigrant! No Tom Hardy for Locke (I thought you might include him)? Anyways, fantastic choices!

I did see that! I will try to make it. Class does conflict a bit with the meet up.

Agreed 100%.

Dating is like a game of chess. I don't understand any of the rules and I usually just give up after a while.

I thought that was my birthday?!

I'm already having constant sex with myself, so I welcome any AV Clubber to join the party.

My OKC profile is one of the best things I've written. Funny, genuine, weird, quirky, and aggressively stupid. I get a lot of compliments! I would provide a link to it but that's probably too creepy. Being yourself and conveying some of your quirks is always good.

I support this with all my heart.

Ugh. I have my "25 Best Movies of 2014" just sitting in my draft folder. I keep thinking I should finish it but I never do. I also keep catching up on good movies so it keeps changing.

It can be [counts] four things!

Welp. This is officially my 1,000th comment here on the AV Club and I thought Savage Love would be the only place to make it. Thanks for the incredibly fun, sexy and weird ride. Not sure what I would do without you lovely people!

Well… That's not what I was expecting.

No, I drank too much for you to not write the follow up.

I am