It's definitely more uncomfortable for whoever the mouth belongs too. One dick is hard enough!

Grindr. Should I use it? What is the best way to effectively use this horrifying app? Is it even worth my time?

Abstinence before going to bed at night also does not work.

What are your favorite six film performances of 2014?

American Sniper is a perfectly "fine, whatever" movie that is getting tons of shit because of its insane box office and awards consideration. If you detach yourself from Kyle as a person and the memoir he wrote and you shy away from the history (as IV hints at) the movie is perfectly fine. It's also completely bogus…

Whenever a friend first gushes about how great the show is, I try to smile but my eyes and heart say "I thought you were better than this."

So wait, does that make Wimbledon the Arbor day of having sex?

I wanted Jupiter to be be good. But God damn did the trailers go out of their way to ensure that the movie looked completely unwatchable.

This all happened simultaneously, yes?

I drank too much alcohol last night so now my brain doesn't like me.

Just let me believe people have stopped caring about this movie (though you are absolutely right).

I ignored all my homework and drank alcohol and got really drunk and just yelled at my friends for being out of town all the time.

Hi all! On the TI forum I opened voting for the "Best Film Performances of 2014." You can nominate any six individual performances from any movie this year (it can be male, female, supporting, lead, voice…whatever!). I thought I would open it up to The AV Club as well! Please ignore this comment if you think it's…

It dropped like 50% this week. It's no longer guaranteed to be the biggest movie of 2014. Still, it's a fairly mediocre film that doesn't deserve all this money. Maybe they will donate some to me!

You are too sweet to me. I am a sexual tornado! I just seem to consistently strike out. Also, I'm a TERRIBLE flirt when I'm drunk. A guy came up to me at a bar once and I just started talking about how I got my hat in Helsinki for five minutes. It was pretty funny in retrospect but didn't help me on my quest for sex.

God you're just reminding me how badly I need to get laid. My dick intake has been in the "no pile" category for a long time.

Heaping pile of d and pussy? Does that come with a side of soup or salad (preferably tossed?)

I went to a congressional hearing on tuesday and saw Paul Ryan in a hallway. I was fangirling so hard, in the sense that I had the fight the urge to punch him.

That sounds like the bullshit "hate the sin but love the sinner."

Some people just hate homosexuality to the point that they think it's their duty to go up to complete strangers and tell them that their life is wrong. To them, they are doing a good deed, they are speaking on behalf of God or whatever morals they believe in. They are the people that will send you to reparative…