Dear Penthouse,

I once said 'Thank You' after a BJ to a girl I was dating and she got offended. She said it made her feel cheap. I have taken that out of my repertoire but still wonder was it wrong or was she just a weirdo…

Gillty on scales 1 thru 10.

Edit: He's a wealthy white man. He'll be fined.

Blowtox- It's the best and worst of both worlds.

Anyone that cops coke on 42nd street is a sucker. The weed is oregano and the blow is baking soda. Once tested for purity it will be dismissed. Bomb Wophat is going to get off with a slap on his buttock submerged wrist.

Bond: "Shorry,but I mushed go to Fukashima"
Bond Girl- "Umm..ok…if that's your thing…"

Maybe if you search the internet you could find Scott Buttcrakula. Or, barring that, you may have found your new carear (sp;-) and porn name.

This has probably been said before but it needs to be said again; you're a wreak Edmund Fitzgerald.

It's the one organization where coming early to a meeting is a surefire way to get pink-slipped.

No need to get testes - some of us are having a ball.

What's black, runs over people and has a giant hole in the middle?
Donald Trump's heart?
No, it'satire!

This film trailer earned zero stars and one rusty spanner.

Ad Astra - Brad Pitt and Tommy Lee Jones play a romantically involved, galaxy hopping couple in this sci-fi/rom-com/horror adventure. Watch the hi-jinx ensue as they adopt beings along their wacky journey through the cosmos. Before long things take a sinister turn when the brood convince them to get married…

Metaphor: NOUN
a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable:

I have it under good authority that The Sun was a star student.

Robert Culpable?

I lost all interest after they tore Yankee Stadium down. I just went for the ball-breaking and the brawls in the stands. The new place is like a deserted Disneyworld completely devoid of the Bronx edge it used to own. But like all of New York City, I'm glad I was fortunate to live the grit and glory before it…

CSPAN is currently drafting a list of common baseball commentator jargon to be avoided during tomorrow's telecast.

Hey…hey………hey - you look a little sleepy. Let me help you off with those clothes.