This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, excited to inform you of something, and that something is, that the man I am pretending to be, Perd Hapley, is in this episode!

*turns toward camera three for serious closeup*
I, ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, look forward to reading the post my ManPretendingToBe Perd-Vert, @avclub-f25df802e1f2a23eec2c7901b72d290d:disqus , has written, after I have scanned these family photographs for my sister's wedding reception slideshow, which is something…

The story about this post is that it cuts very close to the bone.  The other story about this is that, while it is not the first time that I, ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, have read that joke, which is something that is supposed to be funny, but it is the first time that I have read it from someone who writes the…

The story of me, ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley reading THIS comment, is that I, ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, am glad that you enjoyed reading my initial, first comment, and hope that you will enjoy reading this comment, which is, in fact, a reply to your comment about enjoying reading my first comment.  Which you…

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley with an important news bulletin, which is a news story which is very recent and very important.

Good morning, ManPretendingToBe Perd-Verts! I'm ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and, the story about me is, that I am excited for the return of "Parks And Recreation, which is a television series which many of the users of this website, which is a place to visit on the Internet, like. More on this development as it…

The story about that is, that ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley doesn't sleep, he waits.

The story behind this reel of "gags", which are mistakes or "jokes" that some people, not including this reporter, find "funny", is that some people, not including this reporter, find it funny, and are glad to see it, including this reporter, who is me, ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story behind this shocking lack of Pawnee's favorite news anchor and movie reviewer is, that I need a better agent.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story of this story, is that it's good news, which means that it is something that people like to hear.

Our next story, is that a delicious mistake has led to a new tradition in Pawnee, which is the town where I live and broadcast my television show, "Ya Herd? With ManPrerendingToBe Perd Hapley", in which pigs formerly kept alive and dressed up as girls are instead stuck in the neck with knives, raised by their hind,…

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about this review is, that it was posted too soon!

The acting was interesting, the settings were familiar, and I didn't see myself naked, and that's why I give this porn parody four stars!

Hahaha!  This is @avclub-2eb62041c84abe80cf8ec5834d1c646e:disqus , and the thing that is funny about @avclub-6fc2c6c74f8cde43fc30d378e0aa502b:disqus 's post is, that he got the reference to the thing that he was trying to talk about wrong!

The story about our next story, is one that my TelePrompTer, from which I read everything I say, tells me is tragic.  Pawnee's beloved Pawnee Palms Public Putt-Putt Miniature Golf course will be shut down.  This is unfortunate, which means not good, because there is no other place here in Pawnee where I,…

It was unnecessary, sad, and entirely without merit, which is why I'm giving Roger Ebert's death zero stars.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the next story is that skim milk is only water PRETENDING to be milk.  We'll have more on this blood-curdling story, after the break.

I am reading what you say, and it has the cadence of an insult.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story of this comment, is that I'm extending returned greetings, which is a fancy way of saying hello, to Nathan Ford's Evil Twin, who is also commenting on this comments section.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and I would like for you to ask the writers of that particular television program, which is like a play, but different and on TV, why "Lights, Camera, ManPretendingToBe Perd!" was cancelled. I saw a film the other day, called "Pulp Fiction", which had a very boring conversation…