This just in:

The story about that is, that Netscape crashed on me!

@avclub-7d88a569adf875bf6a15191124686f89:disqus , The story about me replying is, I wasn't CC'd, but Shauna Mulway-Tweep forwards me everything, and I find your work to be both erotic, and confusing.

The story about this post is, that my cover is blown, and sure, NOW Firefox is working perfectly…

This just in:  I love three-part harmonies.

The story about this clip is, that it's delightful!
The story about this clip is, that it's delightful!
The story about this clip is, that it's delightful!
The story about this clip is, that it's delightful!
The story about this clip is, that it's delightful!
The story about this clip is, that it's delightful!
The story…

The story about this post, is that I am proud and grateful to have been remembered by @avclub-9cd818ea56273170b63f339aa6f34bca:disqus , and that @avclub-da518aecddbf5c94588f53562012c452:disqus is quite gracious, too.  In celebration, I will now do a dance, and the story of that dance is, that it's called "The Worm",…

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, of Eye On Pawnee 4 News, reporting this evening with quite a bit to report about things that havehappened in Pawnee, which is the town in which this news broadcast is shown.  The first story, is that Pawnee’s newest
female councilperson, Leslie Knope, was in charge of a…

This story just in, @avclub-7d88a569adf875bf6a15191124686f89:disqus is not a person who can be trusted to arrive when he says he will.  Our next news story, is this one, about a new party drug that is, for once, as delightful as it sounds!  Cough Syrup Snow Cones are the cool, which is slang for popular AND also means…

I don't understand what you just said, but it had the cadence of an insult.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, with an Eyewitness News 4 special news bulletin.  Will we have a new park, or a new place to park our appetites for Paunch Burger?  Find out after the break.  But, first,  Deadly Avian Flu:  deathly apocalypse of tornadoquake proportions, or government testing hoax?  Councilman…

This is something that I am willing to participate in, because I love being on television, especially on my show, "Ya Heard? With ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley".

The story about this post, is that it is someone pretending to be someone else pretending to be someone else!  It is quite amusing!

The story behind this post, is that Chrome and Disqus conspired to ruin my cover between two gimmick accounts.  On the top bar, I am logged in as me, @avclub-2eb62041c84abe80cf8ec5834d1c646e:disqus , which is the gimmick account I made up for Parks & Rec.  On the comments area, I'm…

The story about this episode, is that the wrong anchors have been seen on my television channel.  The next story is that Disqus is terrible.

My TelePrompTer is telling me that @avclub-9cd818ea56273170b63f339aa6f34bca:disqus is getting desperate, and that I don't want to anger a polar bear.  Apparently they will hunt a man down and eat him.  Therefore, this is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, responding to your summons!

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley with what my TelePrompTer, from which I read everything I say, is calling an Eyewitness 4 News Special Alert Bulletin, which means that I have an important story, which I will tell you now.  And that story is, that all mini-calzones, which are small versions of regular calzones,…

This reporter is always glad to support his ManPretendingToBe Perd-Verts, which is what I call my fans.   The story of this phrase is that I have added a "D" to the word "pervert", so it has my name in it! Ha ha ha!  It's really quite clever.

The story about this picture is, it is a photo of Jason Statham, a British, which means from England, movie star, wearing a cowboy hat, which is not British!  My trusty TelePrompTer, from which I read everything I say, is telling me that this is quite amusing. Chuckle. Chuckle.

The story of why I haven't joined in on this thread yet is that I just read it, and am now posting a reply, which is really just me saying that I have read this thread.  My TelePrompTer is telling me that I have just laid out a kickin' rhyme, dawg.  This reporter does not know what he just said.