This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about President Trump's comments on prominent, which means famous or influential or both, African Americans was not very cogent, or well thought out. It also was delivered in a manner that seemed, to this reporter, which is me, ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, that it…

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about me is that, while I wasn't used as much as I could have been this season, much like one who engaged in a mutually enjoyed and consequence-free one night stand, which is when two people enjoy each other's company for one night of sweet, sweet pleasure, I'm…

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about me is that after a long absence, I've been in two consecutive episodes, and the story about that is, that I got my contract finalized.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, saying to Hornacek, "Aw, shucks!" With as much false modesty as he can muster.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about me is that I am glad that Ms.Seide, the reviewer, has her priorities in order, by which I mean, she is asking the important questions; to wit, #WhereIsPerd?

If you visit the Parks and Recreation reviews, you will find that I've been around for a while. When Jay Jackson appeared in this show, and was mentioned in the review, I saw it as an opportunity to resume a character I enjoyed portraying. Obviously, the environment is different in this comments section, and I am…

While perfectly valid, it's not very nice, which is why I give your opinion… One star.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about this episode is that, once again, there was a newsworthy event, and this reporter, which means me, was once again not used. This is what some have called in the past, "discouraging".

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the question on my mind after the past two episodes, wherein many newsworthy events, which are things that happen which are important enough to affect many, many people, and are therefore worthy of being discussed in outlets intended to disseminate, which means to share…

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about this reporter is that it appears to be this reporter's job to dump exposition, which is dialogue that explains things, while other characters watch. More on this development, as it unfolds.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about me is, that I appear to have moved to National City, which is the place where Supergirl, who is a young woman that is, by all accounts, someone with super powers, has chosen as her home.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about Jean-Ralphio Champagne is that it's "technically Draaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyynooooo!

SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! Is something that I will not be saying to you, because that would be rude, and pointless. Instead, I am now saying, hahahaha! I remember that! I was very annoyed! And, good memory!

This is ManPretendingToBe Turd Crapley, and the answer to your question is, I am giving myself a last hurrah, whilst going insane.

You've got the Lucky Strike burns to prove it?

Some do, some don't, TIer!

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about this reporter's eyes is, that they are pissing, which is a vulgar way of saying "micturating", tears.

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and there are two stories about me: I am very tired of writing "This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley" with my thumbs on my non-Gryzzl iPhone, and if there are more Trek reviews, this reporter expects Parks and Trek fanfic from you in the comments section of them. Unless you…

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and my feeling is that this can be his only answer: http://youtu.be/nZIlAExvneo

This is ManPretendingToBe Perd Hapley, and the story about me is, that I'm a he, too! Crazy!