I hope Yeardley goes first.

"I have never been a barman," asshole.

if you can't tell the difference between journey & JBJ and fucking LIMP BIZKIT you deserve death by immolation.

flavor flav looks like magic johnson should look.

last night I saw a film…
as I recall it was a horror film…

That and her gloriously moist, undulating pussy?

Maya Rudolph: Oddly attractive or Attractively odd?

Ma$e has a Bentley. That is all.

Ask yourself: ARE YOU PROFESSIONAL OR NOT?!?

actually grade A or "fancy" maple syrup has its uses and can certainly be delicious when appreciated for its delicate flavor. Try it in vinagrettes or poured over ice cream. Its higher price is due to the extra expense of the multiple clarifying processes syrup must under go to be labeled fancy.

what?? everyone knows Sopranos peaked at season 3. Ralphie and the Whore (a fucking WHORE Tony!), Gloria Trillo, Lost in the Woods and Jackie Junior. Come on people!

DO NOT knock the Wadsquad, Detriot's premier gay, christian, anti-semitic hip-hop collective.

When I imagine all the bridge-and-tunnel low-grade skanks "begging" to suck his cock, I seriously feel nauseous. Then superior. Then ashamed. Ah, well.

goodnight motha-fukkin' mush!

Richie was crushed by an avalanche of gold dubloons in his money vault.

I know your wifey won't.

Hey Jorge, tell your wife that Kor says he's sorry!

Bastard banged Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. I'm sure he's got some shit growing on his dong worse than AIDS.

I think Luke Wienecke meant to say: "It's the reason I'm up at 1:30 in the morning pumping some dude I don't know to Weezer."

Teenage orgies, ala Rockdale county Georgia in the early 90s.