"I know who I am! I'm a dude playin' a dude, disguised as another dude!"

Want to hear their terrible version of the Star Spangled Banner? No?

"I don't feel so good."

The best sandwich I've ever had was a modified regular-menu item at the deli in DC where I worked the summer after I graduated from high school:

It's incredible. The scene of Lars gleefully watching his art auction via closed-circuit TV from another room in his house is just… *kisses fingers like an Italian chef*

My favorite lazy bachelor dinner: salty tortilla chips with way too much cheddar and/or pepperjack cheese grated on top, microwaved until melted.

What the fuck.

Ain't nothin' horrible gonna happen today!

I'm sad to find out this isn't a film adaptation of the Scott Aukerman / Adam Scott podcast Blue Turtlin'.

Interracial Ass-Blasters 7.

Imagen if Steinfeld still on TV

Agreed. I can never hear Love Shack or the Psycho theme the same way again.

In the climax of the film he accidentally cuts King Kong in half with a machete.

His body is filled with helium.

Oh my God, OH MY GOD… Where did you get that brownie?!

Don't worry, that CCR song was just for the trailer. In the actual film they use For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield.

Ow, my skin

But the guy said he wasn't a rapist! What more do you need?

May I ask you a question? And I don't mean to be rude… do you have fucking Memento disease? There's no kids, there's no job… there's too much tuna!

He's too blessed to be stressed!