Ha, I didn't think of the time zone thing! Yep, a flawed, boozy protagonist…who kind of FAILS in the end, I think. It's a terrible, terrible, fantastic movie.

Number 2 is, indeed, hilarious. Even in the internal logic, if there is any, of the Friday the 13th universe. People are still camping! And Loomis, jeez—that explosion only gave him a scar on his face. That's one tough, dramatic son of a bitch.

I'm with you. What other movie would dare end with the insinuation that hundreds, nay THOUSANDS of children were murdered in their comfortable homes and an entire nation went mad?

Absolutely. When you are looking for a boozy, deadbeat father who sleeps with a strange, vulnerable woman while on a roadtrip to investigate a strange town, and then he has to kill that woman because she's an android, well—I mean, he's your man.

TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFFFFFFFFF *every child in the world dies*

Sometimes the NHL network does a pretty good job with fuller, more developed highlights of the games. They do a shit-ton of sitting around and yapping, though, and it takes forever to get from one game to the next.

Ugh, I've seen it! MY EYES.

NASCAR fantasy league? Ugh, indeed! I love sports, too, but that stuff kind of takes the fun out of it for me. I want to see some great competition, some drama—I don't want to think about it 24/7. A NASCAR FANTASY LEAGUE? Sorry. I really do hope he enjoys it, at least.

Hmmm, I'll have to leer, I mean, take a look at this. My future wives on The Weather Channel will have to give me a pass, I suppose.

I suppose that's true. Maybe we just need actual sports on these networks instead? I know the rights are expensive. But more games, maybe? And not just from two or three major sports? I wonder if people would watch that…maybe how it used to be when ESPN first started, when you could watch all kinds of crazy shit. It…

Ha, yeah that sounds about right! I mean, people have to talk to communicate and push the plot forward! But…in sports debates, there is no plot? Yikes, I don't even know.

I've never played fantasy myself, but it seems that everyone I know does. And I don't judge them for that—to each their own. But you are right—it does all seem to be tied to this needless bickering over stats and potential. And then you have this meaningless crap over "who wants it more" and "heart." By pumping…

Bravo, sir. I know Olbermann isn't always held in the highest of esteem, and maybe that's OK, but he is refreshing once in a while because he actually takes some of these fevered egos to task and knocks down the jock-level bullshit for a few minutes anyway.

Ooof. I at least like my network sexism to be a little more subtle!

What's sad is that you are absolutely right. Now that Lebron is in the off-season, we will have to endure endless debates about his fucking legacy or where he stands on the list of top players of all time. And look, ranking sports stars can be a lot of fun, actually—when you are in a bar or at work, drunk, oftentimes…

So true…the highlights often don't even show the fucking highlights. How can you screw up something as basic as sports highlights? I do not understand this obsession with analyzing and speculation. I guess they want to be "serious." They want to make sports into politics.

Yeah! Loverboy for everyone!

I really miss the old, awkward bumpers they had…there was something kind of sinister about the low-rentness of it all. Now it's just dudes standing next to the freeway in raincoats talking about…rain.

Watching ESPN is fucking exhausting. Didn't Sportscenter used to be about sports highlights? I mean, that was the kind of thing you could watch for a while, and sometimes the dudes talking over it were funny, and it was breezy, and you could catch up on everything in an hour.

The weather girls. It's all about the weather girls. I'm not proud of it.