Check your pulse, pal.  I give you the chance to think about a first class broad like Angie, and you want to play Dorothy Kilgallen with me instead.  Could end as well for you as it did for that chinless wonder.

You got taste, that's all I'll say.

What's with the yelling and the devil crap? Can't understand a word. Next issue — Marilyn Monroe or Angie Dickinson, who would you rather nail?  I disqualify myself, as I had 'em both, but the answer could surprise you.

Last time I saw Van Dyke this nearly burned was when we hosted the television awards, this would be the late 60's… 68.  I mean the writers really sandbagged him with material that would generously be called sub-par, I felt bad for the guy.  In those days we did a coast-to-coast program, so there was a countrywide…

Thanks kid, people seem to like that picture.  They told me the Oswald bastard watched it just before.  You may have heard, I had my own issues with the President but understand, this was a tragedy the likes of which has rarely been seen in this great nation, a real kick in the gut for everyone, and I can personally…

He was 9 and she was 6 
They rode on horses made of sticks…

Ava liked to say Mickey taught her about sex.  Goddamn if I didn't have to teach her all over again.

My guy's got you at 2:1, you must be a nervous kid.

I would like to sing for you a very pretty song. Sad, beautifully written however, probably one the best marriages of words and music done in a long time. From a show called “A Little Night
Music,” and it was written by Stephen Sondheim. It’s a story of two adult people who had had a very nice life together, and…

…Claudia Cardinale (In French, Catalan, and Spanish w/subtitles)

Crossing Mitch Miller at Columbia is exactly what I had to do to, but it left me with million dollar pipes and nowhere to play 'em.  The bastard finally kicked it just shy of turning 100, so you see folks, right to the end his timing stank.

Yeah, or maybe listening to the near-interminable jams of those fish cats has affected him.  What's with this fish stuff, the funny brownies and beans, the guitar noodling crap?

Had the same problem with a guy once, so I tell the boys to pay him a visit, you know, just to talk to him.  But the boys, they say they'd really rather not, want me to just let it go.  Let it go!  I say, what's with all the damned hesitation, I mean the Sioux nation didn't have reservations this big, know what I…

Very true, but then the Chicago midget lost points for not going with my My Way, and I mean right away.  Putting me up against some singing child was coocoo, I tellya Melvyn Douglas had my complete support when he told the Oscars where to go, refusing to be made to compete against the Kramer kid.

Tell me about it Bobby.  It's 4:30 in the a.m., I bring the boys back to the house, the thing you do not wanna do is start in with these big explanations, how the half teaspoon of extra virgin oil you threw in the pot at exactly two minutes after the boil, effects the molecules and whatnot of the goddamn noodles. …

Folks, this comment just got moved. It's already my second movement today

Blue Jasmine.  Sounds like old lady perfume.  Anyway it seems the little hebrew pervert is still making pictures, eh.  I tellya, when that whole sick thing went down with the kid Mia calls me crying, I tell her, you want the bastards legs broke just say the word, but she's too sweet for that stuff.  And yeah, I know…

If I still had a body Connie Britton would make my To-Do List.  She got the face, the figure, and above all she's what we used to call game, she can run with the boys without letting you ever forget there's a sensuous woman there, you know

You don't know happiness till you're standing there next to Donna Reeds with that little gold man in your hands, when just a year before the entire world was telling you, you're dead in the water.   Best wishes to whoever hosts the thing.  Face looks familiar, could be a comic I caught some years ago, impeccable…

Have you seen the Atlantic City boardwalk lately?  The walking dead is about right, every other guy looks like Zero Mostel rolling out of an all night buffet.  Hey, I like pizzas as much as the next guy, but try swimming a few laps folks.