ALL OF THIS.

Which I thought was hilarious. Schmidt loves Cece, but he was so paranoid that he was having her drink the alcohol to see if it was poisoned. (Spitting it out wouldn't have helped.)

This episode had great Nick and Schmidt chemistry, hilarious drunk Cece, a decent amount (although it's never enough) of Winnie the Bish, and Busy Freaking Phillips, and yet my complete and total hatred for Jess made me give this a D+. I HATED her. She wasn't being cute or quirky; she was being a full on nutjob and I…

I think this is the most hate-full Hate Song I've ever read, and frankly, I loved it.

Oh, he would have been fantastic!

I am always excited when I see Missi Pyle show up in something. She is just so great.

I seriously wanted to smack those little bitches who were unenthusiastic about Hamilton. Who doesn't want to see Hamilton?

Yeah, I've tried to think of ways for Matthew to leave without dying that would fit both the period and the character (I mean, Matthew Crawley isn't going to run off with a maid or something), and I can't think of one.

But he wasn't in a relationship with Mindy. He was sleeping with her (the show isn't clear whether there was overlap between the women or if he slept with them before Mindy), but his not wanting to discuss her job or really do anything but screw means it definitely wasn't a relationship.

Wait, what? You think she bleached her skin? I didn't notice a difference. However, if there was one, it could also be chalked up to something called "winter." Even if it doesn't get as cold in California, people get less sun and spend less time outside.

"Spending more time with Ted doesn't fix this (or indeed any) problem."

I didn't mind the mother dying because then at least we had a reason why Ted was telling this story. I DID mind that this is the first time Ted is telling his kids how he met their dead mom and he's basically using the opportunity to get permission from them to bang Robin. Of course, Ted has been a pretty terrible dad…

Well, after the shitshow that was the end of HIMYM, I swore I'd never watch anything by Thomas and Bays again. (Seriously, fuck those guys.) There were a lot of people who hated the finale, and it sounds like this version was headed down a very similar path to (at least) the beginning of HIMYM. If I had to guess, I'd…

"Poor Carol."

To me, missing a funeral is different from missing a chance to say goodbye to someone who is dying. The latter is way worse unless it's completely unavoidable. Going on a kayaking trip instead of being with your dying grandma? Dick move. Missing your grandmother's funeral because you can't (not won't) get there? A…

I feel like the final reveal of Phil being half shaved lost almost all of its impact because Will Forte was out and about (at awards shows, no less) with that look.

I loved how the One-Eyed Snakes were so game to take selfies with Kenny; I loved even more how they went through the selfies and deleted the ones the one Snake didn't like.

I legitimately think 1,000 monkeys could have done better.

I wanted Caroline to stick around but only as a friend because I think it would have been great for Ichabod to have someone who is into his original time period to chat with. Betsy Ross and what's her face that hew as kind of with for a bit were completely superfluous, though.

Lupita is, to paraphrase My So-Called Life, so pretty it hurts to look at her. Why she isn't in EVERYTHING is beyond me, because she has talent to back up that amazing face.