I'm seriously thinking about getting that screencap printed and framed. It would bring a much needed touch of class to my bathroom.

I'm seriously thinking about getting that screencap printed and framed. It would bring a much needed touch of class to my bathroom.

I'm pretty sure agreeing to work for Courtney Love automatically gets you waitlisted at every Ivy League school, so that part of the claim probably won't hold up in court.

I'm pretty sure agreeing to work for Courtney Love automatically gets you waitlisted at every Ivy League school, so that part of the claim probably won't hold up in court.

In my neighborhood, the nearby choices are Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, or Pizza Patron (which is basically Mexican Little Caesars). Pizza deserts are real in America, and they affect thousands of us with severe indigestion and regret on a regular basis.

I know in my heart of hearts that Pizza Hut is gross. But every once in a while they come out with a new commercial or product that for some reason tricks my brain into believing that I might be able to get something edible from one of their shit-smeared kitchens. You would think I'd know better by now, but somehow…

I know in my heart of hearts that Pizza Hut is gross. But every once in a while they come out with a new commercial or product that for some reason tricks my brain into believing that I might be able to get something edible from one of their shit-smeared kitchens. You would think I'd know better by now, but somehow…

It's pretty amazing that phrases like "one of the most respected comedians alive" and "writer/director of Pootie Tang" are both referring to the same guy. Louis, I don't know how you pulled that transition off, but well done.

It's pretty amazing that phrases like "one of the most respected comedians alive" and "writer/director of Pootie Tang" are both referring to the same guy. Louis, I don't know how you pulled that transition off, but well done.

Discovery Zone owned the shit out of this place anyway.

Discovery Zone owned the shit out of this place anyway.

Team Discovery Channel!

Team Discovery Channel!

Wait a minute! There wasn't a donkey in Star- oh, that's just a Busey.

Wait a minute! There wasn't a donkey in Star- oh, that's just a Busey.

There's a place by my apartment that makes sandwiches by folding pizzas in half and stuffing them full of shit. I'll give you the phone number if you want diabetes that bad.

There's a place by my apartment that makes sandwiches by folding pizzas in half and stuffing them full of shit. I'll give you the phone number if you want diabetes that bad.

My feelings towards their movies are tempered by an ever-growing jealousy towards Mark Duplass. I mean, the guy divides his time between making successful-ish  movies on his own terms (which few filmmakers ever get to do, let alone when they're in their mid thirties) while drawing a steady paycheck from The League,…

My feelings towards their movies are tempered by an ever-growing jealousy towards Mark Duplass. I mean, the guy divides his time between making successful-ish  movies on his own terms (which few filmmakers ever get to do, let alone when they're in their mid thirties) while drawing a steady paycheck from The League,…

I'm willing to accept that we might be the worst if everyone agrees to come up with a better name for my generation than "Millenials." I'm on the older edge of that group, but I've still got a good 40-50 years left (in theory), and if I have to listen to people refer to me by that idiotic name for the next few decades…