To this day I hear Jonah Hill's voice saying "schmaschmortion" whenever I read the word.

Brad Hamilton (Judge Reinhold) in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Picking up your little sister from the abortion clinic with a big smile on your face and not even mentioning it: ten million brother points.

How I would weep to find a single Miyazaki high-top floating in a pond.

Truly, he is the Michael Jordan of anime.

They've got a Howard Johnson, so I'm going.

Shortly after absentmindedly stabbing an armchair. Let the punishment fit the crime.

You know what, man, I've always wondered who did that job and that totally blows, you have my sympathy.

Oh, would Montreal be better off now if the separatist scares of the 70's and 90's hadn't sent businesses running for Toronto? You bet it would be. But I'm saying that the heavy hand of government has also done good, and the province's culture might not be so vibrant if language laws hadn't come into effect. I went to…

"Who the fuck are all these gentiles?"

Dikachu may just be a simple country Hyper-Chicken, but he knows when he's finger licked.

When I was 12 I got my hands on a bunch of oversized cardboard cut-outs of the cast of Phantom Menace and taped a Jerry Springer-style talk show with them, my cousin playing the off-screen host/cameraman and I playing all the Star Wars characters at once. The result was so filthy and violent that we were never allowed…

In general, I actually support law 101 (establishing the primacy of French throughout Quebec); it's easy to imagine the last half-century being one of steady anglicisation had the province not not taken draconian measures. But the Italian restaurant debacle you cited is just one of many hilarious and embarrassing…

More like Son of Totoro, amirite?

This is true. It's a mess. At least Mario games have the decency to abandon logic and let the same guys save the same princess from the same erstwhile tennis partner ad infinitum.

The tragedy of this especially disrespectful spambot is that it could've just quoted 110th Street verbatim and gotten clicks.

Mhmm, they should get freaky and make a direct sequel to Zelda II, in the spirit of gameplay innovation and for the fact that, according to the official chronology, it's the last game in the series. What happens in a Hyrule finally free of Ganon? I've killed him enough times to deserve to know.

To be fair, all the characters look strangely puffy and expressionless in that particular Zelda game.

Hannibal fan club Mario Kart party at your house! Dibs Bowser, and, depending on how the night goes, dibs Freddie Lounds.

No diss to starry-eyed j-school grads, but where does one find quality Canadian journalism? I still occasionally read La Presse because I don't understand French well enough to be disappointed by it, but that's it.

Just today I saw a small flying-V of loons heading north and they sounded just awful, like a child wailing on an alto sax. I'd like to hear some diversity in my loon calls, Hollywood.