A friend of mine who works at a coffee shop in NYC told me once that Matt Dillon is a regular customer of hers, and apparently he's a complete douchenozzle. He'll just go up to her or one of the other girls who works there, regardless of whether or not they're with another customer or busy with something, and get…

"You'll be amazed, man, at how much it like…never happened! WHOA we're in a hospital right now! That's messed up!"

"Hong Kong, 1951…has nothing to do with this story."

If you mean repeatedly and vigorously insert your penis into her vagina until you ejaculate, then yes, I catch said drift.

MAAAAAVERIIIIIICK!

Why can't
They be stoners who use fingerbanging as a negotiation tool?

Van Alden has no idea how close he came to meeting his demise at the hands of the Hollywood Star Whackers.

That is strange, considering she showed the world the whole shabang in that one scene in "Trainspotting".

If you got an invitation to Violet's Halloween Party, then it was a mistake!

Last year I was Zombie Bruce Springsteen. I knew I wasn't going to be able to top that this year.

Looks like astro scientician didn't watch last night's "Boardwalk Empire".

THIS THING GOES ALLLLLLL THE WAY TO THE TOP!!!

This all sounds like the sort of diverting tactics that the Black Crusaders would use! They almost got Tracy Jordan a few years ago, and now for some reason they're coming after the Quaids! Right after they finish their fancy white linen party in Kanye West's airplane hanger, of course.

His acting is almost as good as Garth Marenghi's, that's for sure.

I'm gonna be Jack Torrance this year. Just sulk around with an axe and crazy hair and yell "DAAAAANNY!" at everyone.

Bill Haverchuck
His bionic woman costume was the first thing I thought of when I read the title of this list. For me, that's the moment when the show went from being enjoyable and fun to an official stone cold classic.

Yes. That is very extremely badass.

Each week they manage to outdo the previous week in terms of gratuitous nudity. I have no idea how they do it.

It's nice to see that some of those 8592875298 different plot lines they've got going are finally starting to come together. And I was so happy when Margaret finally put Lucy in her fucking place. The shootout helped too, definitely.

I have to say, sometimes I'm really perplexed by the female characters on this show. For example, in last night's episode, at first I was really not amused by Jenny and Sofia's little fight over whether it got to be Jenny's birthday or Sofia's wedding anniversary. It just seemed too easy, too petty. But then I kind of…