It's hard to get your hands on good heroin in elementary school, Donald.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN BUT I GET UP AGAIN YOU NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN

D'aww, I was really hoping that this would be a weekly column : ( I gotta wait TWO WEEKS for the next one?! DAMN THESE FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS OF MINE!

The Public Library!
Such a great place to discover music as a kid. Mine introduced me to Sonic Youth and Radiohead in 7th grade when all I had was the shit that MTV played. It opened up a whole new world for me and made me the cantankerous old fool that I am today. Thanks, public library!

For the first time on this site, a comment has genuinely rendered me speechless. Well done, sir.

Ummm he just spent like four or five paragraphs going over that this column is centered around what was important to him as a kid, and if he was really into Queensryche and Paula Abdul in 1990, I'm pretty sure he didn't know about any of the shit you're talking about. Seriously, between this and that indecipherable…

MOOK ROCK
I really hope that there's never a nostalgia movement centered the type of crap that was popular when I was 12 going on 13. If I ever see some writer waxing nostalgic about Limp Bizkit or Korn being the alternative to N*SYNC and Britney, I'll stick my head in the oven.

I believe the Ultimatum was, "If you're going to eat the hummus I bought for both of us, then use a spoon and not your fingers, or buy your own goddamn hummus."

You're thinking of Michael Jackson's cameo. They were pretty similar though. Common mistake.

You just chilled me to the bone, Felt Pelt.

I feel like the people who say "High School was the best time of my life" are about half to 65% of the people I graduated from High School with. I actively avoid running into most of those people.

Clearly this show no longer has to worry about dying before it gets old. TALKIN' BOUT MY ZINGERATION!

AWWWWWW, baby's first misguided and lazy anti-hipster comment! Quick, take a picture!

So Salieri, are you going to show up at Morrissey's doorstep in a black mask and black cape and force him to write a song for a funeral…HIS OWN FUNERAL?!?!

Go out and get every album they made in the 70's. Yes, every one.

Well, there ARE brighter sides to life, and he should know, because he's seen them…

That's pretty awesome, Catsby. If I could hang out with only one Pavement member, I'd definitely pick Bob. I hope he gets his shit together too, seems like a real gent.

You should come and see Guided By Voices with me in November, teadoust. You have a month to get caught up on your homework and chores and convince your parents that I'm not some creepy old raper guy.

You don't have to try and impress me, teadoust. You've got all the time in the world to figure out the person you WANT to be, and that's a journey I won't be able to take with you, at least not all the way. Stay gold, Ponyboy.

Sonic Youth can be just as varied quality-wise as Pavement can be live. They've put on one of the best shows I've ever been to (Feb. 2007 at Webster Hall) and one of the worst shows I've ever been to (July 2009 at the Electric Factory).