If there's a God - and all the shows on TV featuring those moronic large assed whores tells me there probably isn't one - there would be a law preventing cities from making pompous bogus claims about which one has the best pizza, especially when everyone already knows it's Atlantic City, and this wouldn't even be an…

Maybe I'm in a different time zone than you, but I actually thought DWJ came off very confident with Cece, but he was confidently goofy, or confidently weird, which was interesting to watch, but I didn't quite buy it that he was really that clueless and discombobulated as the scene implied. I kept thinking if an…

I didn't watch Happy Endings which is where Damon Jr earned a lot of love from many commenters here, so I'm only judging him by what I've seen of him on New Girl and on that limited basis I seem to detect an overconfident, almost snotty attitude, which fortunately enhances his portrayal of Coach. It's not a matter of…

Do you realize
that I have
the most
beautiful
face?

"Close up" refers to the intimate connection we form with the charming, charismatic, effusive performer. In David Blaine's case, he's more of a get-the-fuck-away-from-me-you-creepy-future-lone-gunman magician. Subtle, but the difference is worth noting.

Do you realize that the word magic shares the same derivation as the word magnet? That's how it works, magic draws you in then sucks the coin from your pocket.

No, not A drunk. I am THE drunk! You can all insert your own joke sound effect of me stumbling over and cracking my skull on the slate topped stone wall.

Please, please, we're having a reasonable discussion here. There's no need for you to resort to such unsavory tactics as stating facts. These good people of the interwebs just want to relax and enjoy their weekend, unhampered by the thought process.

You get Nothing, as it should be.

Is that how the kids today speak to their wet nurses? Those boisterous scamps.

Ah, now you accuse me of smugging for the metaphorical interweb camera. See, this is my fish lips face.

It's good you ask this question, Grasshopper. Man is not drawn to the light of truth, but rather, to the fires of eternal damnation. That should clear it up for ya. Cheers!

You have raised a very valid point. It would be better if I didn't concern myself with the poor, miserable, unwashed masses toiling away in futility, contenting themselves with the meager, paltry pleasures offered by the prospect of a digital pat on the back in the form of the coveted UpVote. No, I would be better…

I am presently sitting on a patio deck overlooking a magnificent alpine lake surrounded by thousands of acres of pristine Pennsylvania Pine and Oak and Birch and Willow, with a flock of 3 three or four hundred eastern mallards also enjoying the aquatic/sylvan splendor. For my birthday I am staying with a friend in the…

I bet you conceal your tricks, from your pimp. Ha! That's pretty funny.

OK, It's not edited. It's a true miracle. The Miracle of the One Hundred Dollar Bill Serial Number. Praise be the Magician and his supernatural powers. Hey, I have this authentic Big Foot imprint casting you might be interested in. I got it from a Mysterious Hermit who lives in the deep woods, but comes into town…

TV Magic is as believable and as useful as the myth of The Virgin Birth. It might impress and delight the feeble minded but if you pay any attention to reality this planet is bounding with far more fascinating, worthwhile natural, real mysteries to blow your mind. Oooh, disingenuous editing is such a difficult concept…

Oooooh, you my hero! Naw, I keed, I keed. But ridding the nation of Nixon and his pathological dementia is worthy of applause. The King is Dead, Long live the King…

Exactly. The dialog is relentlessly cold, clinical and tedious. Not as clever as it seems to think it is.

What about The Marching Morons? No wait, that's time travel in the wrong direction.