Groundhogs do live in central park. The rents are higher, sure, but they manage by taking in 10 or 15 roommates.

Was it a groundhog or a gopher? Gophers are smaller, maybe half a pound, grey short haired. Groundhogs are much bigger, up to 30 pounds with longer reddish or frosted guard hairs. From Wikipedia: 'Doug Schwartz, a zookeeper and groundhog trainer at the Staten Island Zoo, has been quoted as saying "Groundhogs are known…

Woof, woof.
"Hey everybody, Assie's trying to tell us something."
Woof, Woof.
"What's that, Timmy's fallen down the well?!"
Woof, woof woof.
"And he wants you to go down there and mercilessly ass fuck him?"
Woof, woof
"And he wants us to record the hot action?"
Woof.
"Sounds like a plan."
Woof, woof.
"Sure Assie, you can have a…

A friend's dog was chewed up really bad by a large female groundhog protecting her babies. The dog was a Jack Russel and just wouldn't quit, even after it had it's nose, ears and one eye tore up. The vet sewed one ear back up but the other one was lost. and it's nose always looked like a crusty scab after that. He had…

The thing about comedy - good comedy - is it's a risk. The joke is only worth telling if it's a good or a great joke. See, it's catch-22. How do you know if it's a bad joke until you tell it?

I don't want to saddle O'Neal with too much praise but that cowboy can sure rustle up some fine copy. Giddyap!

Brother, I had a customer who one night had a groundhog that lived under her back deck get in a fight with a passing skunk. The groundhog apparently tore up that poor skunk and when I arrived at her house the next morning I could smell the skunk half a block away. It wasn't in her yard but I followed the smell two…

That's a very…um, specific fetish ya got there.

"Flynt Family Photos"

I thought it was pretty split. At least half the fans really supported him as long as he was performing. To many Eagles fans it seems the only thing worse than being a dog murderer is being a Dog Murdering Quarterback who makes the unforgivable choice to keep getting injured. Philly has no patience for delicate,…

I am willing to bet that not only don't you care, as you insist, but that you actually enjoy it. I'm right, aren't I? You get off thinking about all them poor fishies floppin' around, slowly suffocating, dontcha? You sick sonuva bitch…

The Humane Society and Peta and other Animal Rights Organizations are all in favor of and striving for the more humane, less despicable treatment of animals in all areas of our society, from Puppy Mills that operate so negligently to slaughterhouses that treat their defenseless victims so savagely. It's not a question…

But what does the Fox say?

By your logic that's just one short hop away from saying it matters what race, or tribe, or creed is a person, not that we're all actually people, equal and special. And aren't all people animals? And regardless of skin color or scales or feathers every living thing strives to remain living. But you arrogant,…

But the dead animals were in the movies. Can YOU say that?!

And that Angie's List favors any business named Angie's, such as Angie's Dead Movie Horse Removals, or Angie's Flattened Chipmunk Inflation & Rejuvenation Services, Inc.

That quacked me up.

Good work, PornHub, lemme shake you hand. Um, better yet, let's just nod knowingly at one another.

Cluck off.

As the glittery ball drops so drops your load.