I miss Joe Piscopo.

This might be the best bit from the Kevin Nealon era of Weekend Update:

That's what a fool believes!

He likes Big Macs and he cannot lie
You other commenters can't deny

The only bad band name I came up with this year is one for a Smashing Pumpkins cover band, The Smashin' Pump Kings.

The lead story on CNN at eight this evening was literally "Donald Trump Debuts New Hat". Apparently he's now wearing a hat that says "USA" on the front and "45" at the side. That's how ridiculous this is all getting – the next President of the US is now Malibu Stacey.

Oh, is this a pun thread? Let's keep 'em coming!

They've been called ugly, pug-ugly, fugly, pug-fugly, but never Kanye-ugly.

"But Hawthorne Abendsen has fancy plans, and pants to match."

Mac and 3

store.clickhole.com and store.theonion.com

Yeah, making a Ray Stevens clue a DD is a low blow, Jeopardy writers.

The clue was asking for the Fall Out Boy song called "Grand Theft Autumn".

I'm disappointed that Chad's slogan isn't "Sick country, bro!"

It means they're born that way.

ENOUGH is ENOUGH! I have HAD IT with these MOTHERFUCKING DICKS in these MOTHERFUCKING PICS!

Were they anything like these guys?

If your autonomous oblasts more than four hours, call a proctologist.

They've got a bold, new chimpanzesty flavour!

Dark Meat Duck!