You've never seen one on the Internet, or in pictures, or Harvey Keitel's?
-Shirley

Happy last day before winter break. Time to visit our loved ones. Some
of you will travel as far as 3 miles! Don't forget to visit our winter
wonderland in the quad where were giving away up to six semester of
free classes. Wow, what's that sound? Is that the tip tapping of
secular boots on on the roof? That…

Shirley: I made you all a little gift because you're like my new family.
Annie: WWBJD?
Pierce: If it stands for "What Would Billy Joel Do?", I'll tell you right now, he'd write another crappy song.
Troy: Yeah, in your face Billy Joel.
[Troy mouths who is that to Annie, who mouths back I don't know]
Shirley: It stands for…

Bully: Give me a winter doodle.
Jeff: If you're trying to be menacing, maybe you shouldn't call the cookie by its name.

Pierce: So what's the deal Jeff, you leave your stones in your other suit? Why didn't you wrap that guy in the face?
Jeff: For the same reason I floss, have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case. I'm over 23.

Britta: The real reason men fight is to release their pent-up gayness.
Pierce: That guy wasn't gay, he had a mustache.

Pierce: Agnostic, the lazy man's atheist. I'm a born again.
Sherry: Oh…
Pierce: We had a re-birthing ritual in my friend's hot tub. I'm now a level five laser lotus in my Buddhist community.
Britta: That does not sound like Buddhism, are you sure you're not in a cult?
Pierce: Just by asking that question, you put me…

True or falso or none of the above. That doesn't make any sense.
Jeff [taking exam]

Bully: You want to dance?
Britta: Maybe to some show tunes.
Jeff:
No, I want to beat the crap out of you and I'm going to enjoy it because
you're just like this school: you're obnoxious, you're cramping my
style and you smell like french fry oil.

Annie [to Jeff]: You have to get Chang to call off some of this homework. You're the one with the silver tongue.
Pierce: Yeah, go tongue Chang.

Chang [about ex-wife]: You make no mistake about this, Winger. I pleasured that woman greatly.
Jeff: Yeah. You look like you would have to. I'm not surprised you said that.

Hey, when you go out with me, it gets crazy. That's the Winger guarantee.
-Jeff

Well guess what, handsome hobo. Your gravy train's leaving the station.
Annie [to Jeff]

I believe that fusing brownies with the Internet is going to create the next Napster for brownies.
Shirley

Real friends help me with things, not vice versa.
Troy

I'm not afraid. I choose not be around rats because they are unpopular. Same goes for centipedes and lakes.
Troy

Jeff [reading cookie]: You'll got AIDS, unless you go to the Greendale STD Fair.
Annie: I wrote that.
Jeff: Congratihorrible.

it's impossible to guard you, your eyes are too gentle and mysterious.
Troy [to Abed]

Being a Virgin in this day and age is something to be proud of, you're like a unicorn.

The dean is counting me on. I have to make sure he knows someone he can trust. We have to break into his office.
Annie