Skin tone.  It's right there in black and white.  But you can go with blood type if you must.

I told them I've been a Mariah fan since her early songs.  They laughed, expressing disbelief, and then both blurted out that she looks like a hot dog.  It was clear they had talked about this, and agreed on it, previously.

I told them I've been a Mariah fan since her early songs.  They laughed, expressing disbelief, and then both blurted out that she looks like a hot dog.  It was clear they had talked about this, and agreed on it, previously.

And linguiça. Portuguese love their linguiça.

And linguiça. Portuguese love their linguiça.

And now for a little game I like to play called, "Is that racist?"

And now for a little game I like to play called, "Is that racist?"

Mariah wandering Ventura Blvd? Where? WHERE?

Mariah wandering Ventura Blvd? Where? WHERE?

Nooooooooooo!

Nooooooooooo!

This is also plausible, although she's probably the only celeb whose fake titties I don't mind pretending are real.  There, I just shared a deep dark secret with the internets.

This is also plausible, although she's probably the only celeb whose fake titties I don't mind pretending are real.  There, I just shared a deep dark secret with the internets.

Yes, this is plausible.

Yes, this is plausible.

Yes. But someone picked me up and put me back in her mouth, where I belong.  No, that's wrong but this sure is fun.

Yes. But someone picked me up and put me back in her mouth, where I belong.  No, that's wrong but this sure is fun.

ODB said it.  He's dead.  Are you happy now, you insensitive SOB?

ODB said it.  He's dead.  Are you happy now, you insensitive SOB?

Yes.  A lot.  Okay, that's a lie.