Sings: I don't wanna wait… for you to squeal like a piggy…

I get Nicholas Sparks and the late Thomas Kincaid mixed up in my mind. Mixed up in a blender in my mind.

I get Nicholas Sparks and the late Thomas Kincaid mixed up in my mind. Mixed up in a blender in my mind.

Don't you say that about Denzel Washington!

Don't you say that about Denzel Washington!

Can't someone just remake Pet Semetary instead? Aside from Fred Gwynn's performance, that movie was a total swing and a miss.

Can't someone just remake Pet Semetary instead? Aside from Fred Gwynn's performance, that movie was a total swing and a miss.

The Mirror Has Two Facetimes

The Mirror Has Two Facetimes

A-yuh, you don' wanna go down that page…

A-yuh, you don' wanna go down that page…

He has his FATHER'S EYES!

He has his FATHER'S EYES!

Now I'm going to have that stuck in my head all day…

Now I'm going to have that stuck in my head all day…

"I ALREADY FIGHT THE DARK FORCES OF EVIL AROUND THE CLOCK!"

"I ALREADY FIGHT THE DARK FORCES OF EVIL AROUND THE CLOCK!"

Fluffer? I hardly know 'er!

Fluffer? I hardly know 'er!

"Seasons in the Sun" is such a perfect choice. I could see that song being used as the theme music to someone's violent nervous breakdown.