I love the Kia gerbils too. The cardboard box car that falls apart is frighteningly similar to my first vehicle.

I'm going as Angus T. Steakflower!

@teh dude, broseph, those chesticles are totally slammin! High five!

I bought the actor as someone with douchey tendencies and friends who bring those tendencies into overdrive. (I dated a guy like that once. Unfortunately, I didn't think to make a "douchebag jar"…)

You've clearly never been to any of the weddings I've planned.

Sean told my mom he was going out to get a pack of smokes. And he never came back…

Simone Simon purs with disdain.

I have a special place in my heart for To Venus and Back because it was the first of her records that I heard/bought. The live album is truly fantastic and a great introduction to her older works.

His twin sister, Ice Cream, was nothing but an embarrassment to the family, what with all the sex tapes and prostitution charges.

I figured "classic" in quotes referred to the fact that the film is only 17 years old, but that seems old enough for it to have reached classic status, especially for a popular childrens movie.

I don't think Olivier has sex. I'm pretty sure that if you removed his clothes, he'd be lacking genitals like a Ken doll.

It'll be hard to top Teti after how consistently hilarious these write-ups have been. His takedown of "Boobie Monster" Anthony was a thing of beauty.

Forget Polanski. I'm still waiting for France to stop protecting that sadistic rapist, Pepe Le Pew!

Yay for recaps! Between ANTM and Project Runway reviews, I'll be one very happy girl.

Eighth spoiler alert: she does it all with witchcraft. Unfortunately, she's easily defeated by water.

It sounds like the tinkling of tiny bells.

Well done. =)

You wouldn't believe all of the toxic waste the lulz factory was dumping into the river. Fucking TRAGIC.

Alas, Poor Philatio! I knew him well!

I, too, get nostalgic for Neckbeard the Philatelist's grad school years. Ah, those sweet wasted hours. The romance, the heartache, the philating…