I see you've already been hitting the Falstaff this weekend!

It's only bad when they're burned in anger by foreigners or domestic hippies.  It's fine when they're burned ceremonially and with love by Boy Scouts.

Holy shit, Queen Elizabeth II is a regular commenter at the AV Club!

Whenever I think of Telly Savalas, I think of my grandfather, who looked a bit like Savalas.  Except my grandfather didn't suck lollipops; he kept smoking cigarettes.  But he wore fedoras into the 1980s, when I guess he couldn't find them anymore.  If only he'd lived long enough, he could have bought some wherever the…

A Second World War?  Come on!  I think they said all that needed to be said in the First one.

I agree that the Planet of the Apes movies have some interesting ideas.  Just ignore Beneath, though.  That thing was terrible.  But the first one is a stone classic, despite the twist ending getting spoiled for too many viewers, and Heston being Heston throughout.  As for Escape and the films that follow it, they…

I really hope that story about how to explain Hackman in Beyond the Poseidon Adventure is true, because that would be the absolute best expression of old Hollywood's (and everlasting low-budget Hollywood's) attitude of "let's slap something together and call it a movie!"  We look for art in some of these things, but…

These American holidays must be kind of strange for folks in other countries, where today is just like any other Monday.

Memorial Day trivia: American flags are supposed to be flown at half-staff until noon, at which point they are to be raised to full-staff.

Jaws 5: Champin' at the Bit, in which the shark launches a stand-up comedy career, and is very eager to try out what he thinks will be a killer set of jokes!

Elevator.

Horror movies are ripe for this inventory.  I figure it all started with Bride of Frankenstein.  Even though that one turned out to be really good, they had to change the ending of the first one in the opening scenes of the second one.

I would immediately assume that person had a developmental disability.

Sequels of prequels…you mean like Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Yeah, and that fear especially comes to the surface when you're on the phone with Magic Johnson.

I can see it going either way with him.  His 50-50 chance represents the best odds anyone directly involved in Walt's business has.

Well, I'll say the Skywalkers.  Sure, your father is the biggest villain in the Galaxy, and every family reunion would turn into a sexual minefield.  But on the upside, you'd come to harness the greatest power in the universe, fly awesome spaceships, and see dead people!

Hey, someone stands to inherit everything once he meets his untimely demise!

Casper?  You're tempting fate, man.

My parents knew a family when I was growing up who threw the best, most insane Christmas parties that were the closest I've come to a Muppet party in real life.  I only got to go to one or two of these, but they were kind of crazy.  One guy came wearing a leather bomber jacket, a leather helmet, goggles, and silk…