@avclub-4b8dbaa429f18373947e25594eb17f40:disqus Those were her breasts?  Oops.  I confused them with mountains.

4.6

Shakira stands at all of 4'10.  Probably not as hot in person, but more oompa loompa-like.  This argument has been re-opened.

The worst live band I ever heard was in Boulder, and as I was walking home (early) from the show, thinking about how bad the band was, I walked past another bar and could hear someone passionately reciting, "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised."  I peeked in, and it was some scraggly white dude with dread-locks on…

Who's that guy with Courtney Cox and Dee Snider?

I just listened to a few tracks on Spotify.  This sounds like it was engineered by Pitchfork to achieve maximum hipster douche-iness.

This is why I read the AV Club.  I had never heard of the Swans.  I checked them out on Spotify because of your post, and now I can't believe I've never heard of them.  Looks like a pretty big catalogue.  I'm starting with My Father Will Guide Me Up a Rope in the Sky.  Is this a good one to start with?

Prison Wine looks exactly what I imagine all AV Clubbers look like.  This was supported by my attending a reading of Rabin's book, and everyone looked like that.  Except one guy had a pony tail.  Coincidentally, the AV Club look is exactly the same as the look everyone in my film studies class in college looked like.

Oh yeah.  I forgot about those guys, but now that I remember, I'm retroactively omitting them.

Why do you troll me, @avclub-178874fad561e353c21ccdafe08915ca:disqus ?  Are you still mad I outed your shitty blog.

I'll tell you exactly how it happened.  (Former Denver resident here.)  The Fray weren't doing the indie circuit, like the High Dive or Lion's Lair.  They'd occasionally get some opening gigs for C-level bands coming through town at places like the Gothic or Bluebird.  Anyway, the main rock station in town (can't…

It was the tameness that really spelled it out.  More than just a flippant "fuck this guy" but less than a genuine targeted attack about anything specific.

Really?  A complete tool?

Lick, wubwubwubwubwub. Lick, wubwubwuwubwub.  Crunch! Skeeeeoooooooooo, wubwubwubwubwubwub.

Wait, which movie were the Black Men In?

@avclub-0f0d67e214f9fef69b278e3d08114da9:disqus Perfect.

I would watch a reality show called Newt Gingrich: Poon Hunter.

Less facial hair?

Okay . . . hmmm. . . I like where you're going with Vampires . . . Brooding teen vampires, I'm assuming?
Ooh! You know what's hot right now with the kids?  Dubstep.  Can we get Skrillex in to score this?  Oh, and aliens.  Our special effects guys can do some great gaping maw screams from giant monsters.  
Okay, I'm…

"right now this kind of looks likeUnderworld: With A Stovepipe Hat."