Do you hear the bongo drum circles?

My metal-polka band is called The Ligers.

Is "Overweight American" now an officially recognized race or something that deserves capital letters?  What happened to 'fat?'

This is the AV Club.  What's the opposite of 'preaching to the choir?'

You're crazy in the coconut!

Quick side note:  Drake actually convinced me to start making music again.

My whole life is a series of events that would have been awesome in an 80's comedy, but in real life were just confusing to everyone else involved.

Gettin' old sucks.

What?!  He told me he was in French, w/ subtitles.

1 - 0, me.

So that's her body double I saw on The Office?

I think it's some sort of equation.

My conquest was your mom.

I bought "The Magicians" based on the review on this site.  You can put me in the "didn't like" camp, but I can understand how people who like fantasy books would think it's funny that it was like Harry Potter, but with blowjobs.

I'm just tired of ALL comedians writing books that offer bite sized essays and hilarious observations.  The exception being Colbert's book, because it was part of his character and not just, "Here's some shit I think is funny."  And it's hilarious.

I believe she's something.

I would put those lyrics up against just about any song (especially hair band song) from the 80's, and win every time.

I liked @avclub-6aae57453f4c05a5488471c34a2a5fb9:disqus 's comment.  Not because I think comedians (or comedic personalities) can't write a good book, but because EVERYBODY that's ever been on a comedy show HAS to write a book.

The producer would oversee a lot of the logistics. In this case, "Get us Eddie Murphy back."

Prince, bitches.  Prince.