My dog's shit will, left untended in my backyard, often but not always grow some sort of white fuzzy growth over it. I don't know why. I don't use any pesticides on my lawn, just one treatment of lime each spring followed by Scott's brand Golf Green lawn fertilizer.

My 9 year old son thinks they are awesome. I refer to them exclusively as "Internet Morons" and belittle them at every opportunity. I regularly declare my amazement that they manage to support families with this nonsense. This only seems to further enhance my son's esteem.

What a twist!

Fair enough. We also look a lot alike, by which I mean that Australians and New Zealanders have sheep pretty much permanently affixed to our penises.

You'd better not be one of my staff wasting your time on this stupid website while you are supposed to be working. I can think of at least four people that might be you. Get back to work!

Damn, I could like every single one of your posts for comment/username synergy. You really live your schtick man.

Oh my god! Your wife fucked Jeff Bridges!

No one was smirking. Everyone was thinking "man, if that guy can get some, there really is someone out there for everyone". We talked about it for a long time after you left the store. In a weird way it was really inspirational and gave us hope after a pretty dark year. Thanks for that moment.

How about "answered casting notice for Walking Dead extra"?

Further to my comment above, here in New Zealand "fucked his last sheep" could mean to die in any way, but it usually means "death by sheep fucking". Because, you see, we are just constantly sheep fucking here in New Zealand.

Where I'm from people say "fucked his last sheep". I am from New Zealand. Home of notorious sheep fuckers.

This time he should cut him in half the other way. Much more effective.

whoa, talk about opening the kimono!

upvoted for comment / profile pic synergy

Just out of curiosity, what are the healthy numbers of metaphors and euphamisms to have for one's wife's genitals. To be honest, I have far less than 8 and 12 respectively.

This comment made my day. Thank you alternativeusername. I hope that your mother is proud of you for all you have accomplished so far this year.

Not easier than my plan: buy a ticket for a non-R rated movie and then go into the R rated movie. I know, you will say that pirating a movie is also easy. Well I think that my method was even easier so you can fuck off.

Most women's top halves and bottom halves are both good. So she must be split down the middle vertically.

I thought Dadbod had become desirable. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself in the mirror for years now.

cool story bro