Since you're having so much luck with cats, perhaps you'd like another one. I would be prepared to stuff my giant fat ass cat into a crate and ship her to wherever you are.

It gets cold in the desert in New Mexico in the winter.

Smaller tits.

What are you, my goddamn wife? If so, I might as well ask why you don't feed the cat or scoop up its shit since that was the deal when we got the damn thing. You haven't lifted a finger to take care of that cat since it came into the house.

OK: you run with it. Just give me an Exec Producer credit and a cut of the profits. My lawyers will be in touch to work out the details.

For me, the Edge of Tomorrow, implies about 11:45pm. Often, at that time, I will be tired and know that I should just go to bed, but am procrastinating because I have to feed that fucking cat and so I end up flicking the channels on the TV and watching some shit like True Blood.

I'll never listen to Burzum the same way again.

Fator has a show at The Mirage in Vegas. Have not seen.

How exactly is Superman like the American Dream?

I think it means that everyone looks like they are on drugs and that their fashion choices are all highly affected and that their parents are probably really disappointed by them and that they really got into this hoping to get laid a lot but it's not working out as they had hoped.

For a couple of years, before DVRs, On Demand, and Apple TV, my wife and I used to keep track of "subversive advertising": ads that were funny until, when you thought about them, really were contemptuous or otherwise damaging to the brand or product they were purportedly advertising. Once you have your eye out for…

I saw the Seth Meyers / Hannibal Burress show, also with Al Madrigal. A great time. Meyers started out slow but got funnier as he warmed up. But on a per-joke basis, Burress was funniest. Aside from the New Orleans bit, which was very funny, he had a bit about how these days it is harder to get a bottle of water on a…

Say a fella was to say he wanted to snuggle her pillowy busoms. Would that fella get flagged for saying that? Asking for a friend.

I meant the house burning down thing.

Were you "Le Pipe" I would recommend the wang display. However, being "La Pipe" I expect that any display of genitalia would have the opposite effect. Go with the poetry option. But adding the fart/slam at the end can't hurt.

Options for your consideration include:

Flagged for outrageous snobbery.

Reba is a slut. Don't ask me how I know.

Where's Justified?! Robbery!

Get your fucking facts straight: Not all the whores are lesbians and not all the lesbians are whores.