How do you know it was a male gorilla? Hmm?

Maybe they are prophets that foretell the future of celebrities in general. That means Julia Roberts is going to become an elf-witch with really long boobs.

My college roommate had a life-size plastic Jesus that she stole from someone's yard. We dressed it up as different things, including a gay pirate and a Soviet commie.

His face is lopsided. Did the wax melt a little, or does Jay Leno's face actually look like that?

Hurray, back to the old school firsties and firstie-smackdowns!

Oh, I guess I missed that. Though I don't think it's worth it to watch the episode again.

Yeah, they could have gone places with the photo backgrounds. However, all the backgrounds were boring.

Actually, all irony aside, that sounds like something my Sunday school teacher would have said.

Don't forget the guns and ammo. Although they're a little harder to come by now that Obama is president.

Yeah, those Muslims and their pigs!

Pigfucker.

die in a SwineFluFire.

No, the lady is. Remember, she always had candy in her purse?

Marriage is not a choice, Crazy Cat Lady.

Looks like you still need to write that article, Gnu. I was really hopeful when I clicked on the link that it would actually point to a real entry.

Allow me to clarify.

I know, Grim. That's why I'm so angry. We're moving in the right direction though; my state has domestic partnerships, so my S.O. and I don't have to get married to share a health insurance plan.

I'm with you. Jermaine Fanfair? And I thought I had it bad when I was a kid.

'It was funny because when we said our vows Keith had these green ears sprouting from the top of his head.'

I'd like to squirt that up my vag.