I read the whole page and haven't broken anything yet. The AFA is also pissed because Gap doesn't force their employees to say "Merry Christmas":

I was a smart kid, and every day I got pulled out of regular class to go to a special "smart kid" class. It was like the school was trying to make our lives suck as much as possible.

Your poetry was so bad it tried to kill itself?

Baby fat makes great lube.

Hillbilly FTW

fuckin'… Charles?

"I can do poorly all by myself". "Bad" is not an adverb.

No, Gabriel Iglesias. You're just fat.

Special Patrol Group, come on now. Everyone knows they don't allow blacks in heaven.

Surrounded by the skeletons of 5 or 6 small boys.

Poor thing doesn't have one of her own anymore.

The Berenstain Bears and the Bleeding Butthole.

I didn't know I had a prolapsed rectum.

My German grandma has no sense of humor. My Scottish grandpa used to say this in front of her to piss her off:

Fuckin bears ruined my childhood
I didn't even know what "designer clothes" were until my parents read me the one about Queenie McBear.

I think they're both kinda ugly. Plus, the bubble-butt freaks me out a little too (like, am I supposed to stick something in there?)

Why must they be "delicious"? There's something vaguely disturbing about that word being used to describe young children.

I just realized who her boobs remind me of: the lady in the Rosetta Stone commercials. You know, the one wearing the dress that looks like it's made out of wet-suit material?

100% vitamin C is just enough to prevent scurvy.

Call Child Protective Services!
The lady in picture #3 is about to smother her baby… WITH HER GIGANTO-BOOBS!