I think your commodities portfolio could use a little more…

Do you see this slice of the pie chart? It represents your net worth in…

I added up the numbers and you're…

Does anyone else think that she looks like Adam Scott's little sister?

This is not deductible! *shoots man in the face*

I'll only consider paying for this service if the app will read all the hateful comments to me, in the background of course.

Yippe ki ya mother-adder!

Possible one-liners:

We could really use more ALL CAPS gimmick accounts.

It was really just a marketing ploy for Big Pussy.

Speculative.

It truly has been the blurst of times.

Not unless they're lawyers.

"Cunt" is favorite.

He wasn't talking about sex condoms.

You're right, except that they are robots.

It's Kelly's left hand in a fist in an act of youthful angst. How novel.

You shut your damn lying mouth!

Stars Wars: The Great Merchandising Continues

Star Wars scored first.