Yee Yee, everyone knows the past tense of bang is "bung."

Ah, when you say "hooked up" you mean what I call "Delaware hooking up." Where I'm from, hooking up means you parked the beef bus in tuna town. But when I visited a friend in Wilmington, I noticed that if you held hands with a girl while walking to the Wawa's, you'd apparently hooked up.

I overestimated the amount of bubbly wine I'd need, so now I can have mimosas for breakfast for a few weeks, which should make work more fun.

This raises a compelling point, though. CancerAIDS is so 2010. What is the horrible affliction of the new year? ScabiesPox? Erectile DisfunctionScurvy?

Lucky for everyone, I've a stockpile of 4 Loco. I'll bring it with me. But I'm out of purple.

You've never heard of troga?

I think it's clear the three of us will make one hell of an elite strike force. Should I bring like a sleeping bag or something?

My colleague, the esteemed Dr. Cunburglar is correct. Can we get this as a final episode of Holiday Undercover? I'll even buy some stupid buttons if it'd help.

Growing up in a small south Texas beach town, I learned something they never tell you about drunk driving: it's really fun.

Arsenio, the only other person in the office today is my boss so it's impossible to pretend I'm not the one chortling.

Why not? What do I have going on here?

It's easy to read these comments and become intimidated when being overrated and underrated get conflated. All meaning gets eradicated.

"Best" scene in this movie
is when they're in the gym, showing how totally badass they are and not at all old.

Guy! Guys! How have we made so many good suggestions and yet not one mention of what the movie really needs? More plate-armor bikinis.

Imagine being stabbed 23 times. Seriously. A knife going in you 23 separate times. Goddamn. Probably, that's a moment in your life when you're paying very close attention to what's going on.

It modifies the "n." Like a tilde in Spanish.

You guys have run this joke into the ground

They build giant waterslides on the sides of their trailers.

I'd watch It's Always Sunny rather than breaking news about the end of time. But I'd watch Jersey Shore instead of Archer. That show isn't very funny.

Holy shit.