Look, none of this is especially new. Pop musicians have been predominately disposable for most of history. How many Herman's Hermits records do you own?

We're happy to have you aboard, L-O-L-A.

Bad southern accents are ubiquitous.

A little honesty
When Ke$ha comes on the radio, I don't change the station.

Also, Daryl got worked over with a bat, but was fine immediately after.

There are only two ways to survive over the long haul, and this is mathematically true. I'll link you to the paper.

Enjoy toiling away on your ditch, living off a few nuts a day. I will be sipping Mojitos made with plundered rum aboard by cozy sailboat, enjoying tuna sashimi and casually poking at bloated floaters with a long stick.

You'd have to amazing at foraging for food to maintain the energy level required to do all that digging.

Yeah…famous

Perhaps the initial wave of survivors cleared out most of the easily-collected supplies. I imagine there was a week or two of utter chaos and looting and biting and murder. It was probably awesome.

We've been over this and over this. Get on a boat. Anchor relatively near shore so you can forage if need be. Leave the boat only in teams and only with a clearly outlined plan. Fish, eat seaweed, collect rainwater and gather fruit when you can — you don't want scurvy. Primitive desalinization isn't difficult as…

Why is it fun to make things less fun for total strangers?

I think Cookie Monster would make an outstanding TV pundit. Seriously. That would kill. Someone, make me a TV exec already!

Yeah, and I've been around since the beginning. I'm just not very chatty, I guess.

Great failed firstie…or the greatest failed firstie?

Ladies and Gentlemen, my 1000th post.

You shut your stupid mouth!

I'm picturing a buddy cop movie.

She's unflaggingly intense
This must've been a bit intimidating. But I guess if you ever start to get overwhelmed, you can just picture her rolling around in the mud with Marky Mark.

This is why I'm against public libraries.