Shock the Monkey. You know it's the right answer.

My ex should get one of these
because apparently, I am a psychopath

What? 16-18 year olds don't have encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture from 20 years before they were born! I'm shocked and outraged!

Instead
for a brilliant take on the 'answer man without any answers' who is 'even more lost than the spiritual seekers looking to him for guidance and wisdom' check out Nathaniel West's "Miss Lonelyhearts."

Or if it had attended Swarthmore.

I'd just like to clarify, for no important reason, that I was responding to Bugs Bunny Joke's comment on usage and not HellToupee's comment on party affiliation. I don't get nearly so excited about politics as I do about language.

Correct!

Holy Rusted Metal!
I'd better alert my guild.

Further, all of his cute little jokes are terrible. And there's one in pretty nearly every paragraph.

Further, you used "their" instead of "they're." You suck at using words.

compt? You really think that's the word you were looking for?

It should be Book People in Austin, not Borders in Houston. Let's be incredulous about the correct omission, please.

Harrel's isn't even in the top 5 ice cream places in Mass. It's good, but let's not resort of hyperbole here.

Generally
I like Regina Spektor even if it bring derision and raises questions about my ability to grow chest hair. But Laughing With is a trite, one-note, snoozer. It's all I've heard off the album, and holy hell is it an unpromising single.

Many have trod your path, Fluffernutter. None have succeeded. It is a course littered with the vitriol of greater commenters than you. And you won't be the last.

5 letters.

Make this happen! AVC fucking make this happen! Yesterday! Go go go go.

If your experience is limited to "black" or "green" you've missed to olive boat my friend. Olives are more than just pizza toppings.

Mr. Bear. I too am a philosophy/physics cross over. My experience was the following: the study of philosophy itself is not inherently a worthless pursuit, but a philosophy degree is by and large a scam. It's very easy to learn nothing, do nothing, and think about nothing while getting 4.0 as a philosophy major. …

I'm tearing up with laughter.