Merck just released the Curator (TM), a vibrator that injects the HPV vaccine.

People need to stop writing "organizized" when they mean "orgasmed while jazzercising."

Herion was the leader of the Amazons until the mutiny when she lost power to the future triumvirate of Opumi, Ormphine, and Codenie.

I assume this is a song about Wile E. Coyote's dream about one day catching and eating those rabbits from Inland Empire?  Spoiler: he never catches them and they all just turn out to be symbols for his own fear of being trapped in domesticity.  Nightmarish symbols provided by Acme, of course.

"and there went in ass to ass unto Noah into the ark, female and female, as God commanded"

When you woke up this morning
You got yourself a lutefisk.

Dude likes his smoked meat sandwich, what's so gay about that?

Jani Lane proved more committed to this cause, making bandana-clad worm's meat of himself.

I'm also planning on releasing a posthumous sex tape.  In my will I'm bequeathing a camera with explicit instructions to my coroner.

This does seem like a wasted effort.  He would have been anally raped to death within a few months anyway.

I DID kill myself this month.  I'm just killing time here before I release my posthumous sex tape.

Because you mistook your job at the suicide hotline as one of an advice dispensing capacity?

"Slashing at your groin and hoping for the best" sounds like my first sexual experience.

He also wasn't very well hung after crotch stab number two.

Bret Michaels blackmails his pets into giving him blowjobs, but then he sends them to the kill shelter anyway.

Killed in tuna netting.  In fact, any awol characters from Aquaman's past were killed in tuna netting. 

Da fug?

The Emanciplissken Proclamation.

You expect to find out that Django was hiding a gatling gun in the coffin he drags around through this movie, but it turns out to be Kevin Costner as the corpse.  Cameo!

A fine cognac and murdered-orphan gold teeth?