That wasn't my guess. You know what my guess was?

If you have two hands, you have a friend to drink with.

Congratulations on breaking your bourbon hymen. Now work your way up to Scotch and you'll have accomplished all you need in life.

Add "On the toilet" on the end of that and you've pretty much written my final scene.

Pffft, you've got a better way to die?

Presumably in Indiana?

Seconded the sentiment on Thanksgiving. It's the only holiday I celebrate. Cheers.

Started a second job on Friday and worked 15 straight hours. And worked Saturday. But did get to play some Cards Against Humanity (it's a little different when you have to explain certain words/phrases to foreign exchange students).

Well, it's not so much a pill as it is cocaine.

Got to add my love for Queen and "You're My Best Friend." One of my best friend's (non-wife edition) will be joining me for Thanksgiving and we're sure to be blasting this well into our third or fourth bottles of whiskey and wine.

Well sure I did, but what does that have to do with this article?

Isn't that the chorus of that Chumbuwumba song?

It's kind of my go-to, heading out the door song. Ironic empowerment.

"Damn it you beat me." - Visitors to ElDan's basement.

I think I shop at that CVS.

Reading Stephen King novels causes Scary Clowns Syndrome.

Go home, dad, you're drunk.

Try explaining that to all my exes.

lol indeed. lol indeed.

I hadn't heard that. Hard to picture, especially because the actual lead is so good.