So wait, the guy that goes around fucking with people all day is complaining about trolls. PRICELESS.

Except I wasn't trolling, just sharing my opinion like you do 2,000 times a day here. You just didn't agree. I was polite for the most part. You and that other bitch weren't because you're stuck in 1993 and take any dismissal of the things you enjoyed from that year as an attack on your identity. Whatever, I can make…

Still all upset that I mocked a band you like the other day, huh? You'll get over it. You won't, however, get over the music you listened to in high school. It's cool, plenty of people stagnate after 18. Keep reaching back for your glory days!

Thank you, pedantic commenter not concerned with sentence fragments or capitalization.

You can train them to stealthily abscond with celebrity hair clippings.

Those things are worth money! Not like the god damned Keanu Reeves Commemorative Plates cluttering my trailer.

Why would a meth user want coffee?

Ugh, she ended up looking like one of the vampires in "Dusk Til Dawn."

It's all relative. I could see racking up a $1,000 a day habit. Then there's all the weird, useless shit you buy when you're on said drugs…

Thank you for your interest. It was a horrible ordeal. 

"A young whippersnapper by the name of Tyler the Creator had the nation entranced with his whimsical tales of rape and murder…"

Drugs. They're expensive.

I was addicted to heroine once. Just sat around a filthy apartment watching Xena Warrior Princess all day.

They regret not committing all the murders they've plotted out in their heads through the years. Basic human psychology.

Moloch the Arch-Demon of Child Sacrifice

4.3

He gives up killing and forensics to become an IRS auditor. The twist is he cheats on his taxes!

He has a ghost limp, so he uses a ghost cane. Ol' ghost dad just ain't a young ghost man anymore.

He solves ghost crimes!

*puts an action in between asterisks in a cutesy display of wit, just like 8 out of 10 people here with delusions of cleverness*