Why anyone trusts any of the criticism that isn't film criticism on this site is completely beyond me. Which is sad, considering that the 1990's and most of the 00's were a golden age for whatever the AV Club was called before then.

DISAGREE. Jesus, the attention spans of the people around here… hey! A quarter!

"Walker, Texas Angel": it's "Touched by an Angel" being round-housed by "Missing in Action."

CBS should just bring back "Dr. Quinn: Medicine Bitch."

Doing the right thing = dropping out of producing the Oscars.

Wait, this generation needs a Pat Benatar?

"All that’s holding the record back from being one of the year’s best
debuts is that once those layers are peeled away, there’s not much left
in terms of actual songwriting."
Hey, you just summed up the year in popular music!

Now that I'm reading it in his voice, yeah you're right. It's the "Hacky Complainer" archetype.

Could they make these halos any more uncomfortable???

She's a manticore.

KISS ME GOTHAM! KISS ME GOTHAM!

You just got to throw a little penis grease into it. AMERICAN INGENUITY!

Obviously Morris and the rest of the tabloid industry made that part up to help boost sales, destroy her life, and advance the secret Zionist plot to, um, bankrupt Arby's.

I think she thinks, like many of us, that you can fuck the Mormonism out of people. In reality, the only thing that can drive the Mormon devils out of a troubled soul is a great big dose of Scientology.

Someone should really give the Mummy back his bandages. He just looks weird without them.

There's something deeply saddening about how her face has played out.

She looks like Leatherface's estranged aunt. You know, the aunt the rest of the family deems too crazy to interact with.

Fuck it. Queen Latifah.

Sell back their votes to the GOP?

At least you could write profane tombstone inscriptions.