Who does he think he is? I mean, smiling? What a douche.

I think he's trying to hold back a deluge of liquid feces.

I think he's executing a silent but deadly one cheek sneak. 

And Eyehategod.

Fuck Christmas: Yuletide Cheer and Timeless Carols from Lee Ving

Huh, weird. Maybe just noogies and wet willies then.

"Blackheart's Funniest Home Videos!"

"Like, are you ready to be killed, bad guys? Cuz I'm totally going to kill all of you?"

OR WAS IT?

I was saying "BULLSHIT" to Reginald. There's no way no he didn't know that already, I can imagine the motherfucker camping out in KFC's parking lot.

I know, scary, right?!?!?

He switched skin with a chicken.

BULLSHIT.

I'm still freaked out by the creepy, horrific sounds in that movie. Oh, wait. Those were Nelson songs.

"The shoes are lighting up… AND THERE'S NO ONE WALKING IN THEM!!!"

The sappy tunes make them feel all special and safe, and then *woooooooop* right up the poop chute.

I'm looking forward to Glenn Beck and Megadeth's "99 Ways to Cry."

I would have preferred silence.

I think that was WHAM!

Even if you think she's attractive, most of these suburban goth-lite chicks are just pre-cat ladies who envision themselves as mysterious, sexy, empowered women even as they slurp down the remaining melted ice cream out of the bottom of an empty gallon bucket, alone in the dark in a shitty one bedroom apartment while…