Boy, you can take the royals out of Queen Victoria…

Fuck them, dude. Right in the ear.

A friend of mine used to say it. He had a retainer, though, so it came out sort of like "tunn kish".

This is definitely your time to shine, dude. Don't fuck it up.

WRONG! That's Star Trek. Hand in your card and leave quietly.

Don't you think Snooki looks almost exactly like a young Joan Plowright?

I didn't want to be the one to tell you fellas, but with those narrow hips, there's no way that girl could have more than six or seven children.

Mexico born and raised, but somehow sounded exactly like Charlton Heston.

That happens pretty much everywhere, doesn't it? And before the internet, assholes would read actual paper-and-ink newspapers and say, "They call this news?!"

Oafish and sweaty?

I laughed at everything Gene said. "Channel 6 news! They'll finger anything with a pulse!"

Those idiots had so many mishaps that by the end of the movie, I didn't give a shit.

"How can you half-expect something?"

So that's what Keith Richards' nipples look like. I can mark that one off the list.

One small step for man, or whatever. [brushes bangs out of face]

I thought you said Henry Gibson and got really excited for a minute.

Shebang, shebop-bop!

One does walk into Laurel Canyon, but one does not walk out. That sweet sound you hear? The screams of the damned.

And dank, Sheltie. Don't forget the dank.

So penises go in wombs, then. We all seem to be in agreement. Thank you, gentlemen.