Hans Solo does not support Donald Trump - you take that back!

Former U.S. president John Quincy Adams also turned them down, given his notable handicaps of being non-musical, and dead.

Tomorrow: Trump tweets that if Lochte had also been carrying a gun, none of this would have happened. His polling numbers immediately increase 10%.

The most popular definition in Urban Dictionary requires the solid portion to be unintentional, so by that standard nothing can ever make you purposefully shart. The second definition, "gas followed by mass.", incorrectly assumes that gas doesn't have mass.

You've always hated my time machine!

*** pulls at collar *** Have I got the presidential candidate for you in 2016!

Finally, a man in touch with the firmament. Someone I can count on to support the Page-Prentice Act of 1907 no doubt. Hughes for president!

She's proposing we need a "totally boss and completely awesome" character… in a moving picture show??? Now I've heard everything.

You guessed it… Frank Stallone.

Fortunately, I keep a pitchfork in my bed, just in case something needs poking.

Just play it safe and call it a crotch-like fissure.

* courthouse drawing of a bailiff in full hazmat suit opening a dripping
envelope containing a taco, Vegemite, and octopus brains *

I pretty much agree with this… but I'm very sensitive in the other direction, too. I'm not a comedian, but I am in a field where creativity is required, and I go to great lengths to make sure I'm not accused of having stolen someone else's material. Which is hard, and frankly quite futile with all the stuff just…

That's what I keep telling my next door neighbor, but he still doesn't let me do it on his lawn.

I've been on the internet for almost 20 years. I've casually dropped
hundreds of great ideas on forums and in comments sections. and I seen
several of them become reality.

Bong …. ?

La discoteca sirve carne y la fruta caliente.

No! Don't try to mitigate my irateness with your completely reasonable observations!!!!!

There's always the argument that "it was a different time". I don't know what I think about that argument in a general sense. It works for some things, but not others. It probably applies to television ads from the '50s, for example, with woman dutifully washing the dishes while men read the paper; we see those and…

That's weird. I learned everything I know about hunting from Elmer Fudd.