That's just enough for an all-expenses paid trip to see the 2017 solar eclipse in Casper, Wyoming! Well done.

Since this seems to be the pre-Kinja I-don't-know-if-I'll-ever-see-any-of-you-again "sign off" article, I'll do the same. You all rock. Seriously, you guys are a reliable pick-me-up on a down day, always good for a laugh, and witty as hell. Many commentators on here are like celebrities to me. C or D list…

Agreed - best actress in the entire Milky Way.

No no, you're thinking of Dumbo. This article is about a cranky Taco Bell employee in Hannibal, Missouri.

Gotta run that ass into the ground!

If I Ieave my shirt unbuttoned that far down my chest (photo at top of article), people will feel the need to tell me that I've done so, as if it was a mistake.

Will my old comments be lined to my new Kinja account, or will they just be "statically" ported over?

I login to the current commenting system with an "old" A.V. Club display name and password… I don't have a Disqus account at all. Will the transition (getting a new Kinja count, transfer of comments) work the same for me as everyone who uses an actual Disqus account?

You call that a beard!!?

Yeah! Hell damn fart.

This is the best show about passing through an annulus that I've ever seen.

E.T. tu, Brute?

No no, you're all wrong. In The Wolf of Wall Street, the Angry Dollar Sign is played by Leonardo McConaughey.

I need you to be a genie who grants one wish, and that wish can be for unlimited wishes. Also, I don't see skin color.

I noticed that too.

Excellent points all. Yet my favorite part is that you wrote it as a reply to yourself.

I look it up, and strangely enough, you AM right.

Also, the article didn't state if they meant imperial horsepower, or metric horsepower. FAKE NEWS!!!

The A.V. Club

I mean, it's SM plus IZE. What's not to get?