Are you dissappointed that she's "not a lesbian", or that she is full of hate? Honestly, I could see it either way.

When I got a 'sarcastic narrative' notification for this, I was skeptical too, but it all panned out.

Well, yeah - technically.

Maybe I'll just leave a bottle of Valtrex on my desk and complain loudly about my painful urination.

No wristband required

Do you mean the Totino's, American's best selling, one dollar fifty cent party pizza?  Might I suggest you enhance your experience by eating the cardboard box it comes in instead?

Something of a non-festering dislike seems appropriate here.

I can't agree with that without some supporting arguments.

Get bored out of your mind, in about an hour

We appreciate the efforts you went to to produce the accented é characters. That's A.V. Club style dedication you won't see everywhere!

Your opinion is wrong, and you are wrong to have it.

Maybe he'll go the Kevin Smith route and release it as a book.

Cartoon Network isn't exclusively cartoons, MTV isn't exclusively music… what's next?  The Oprah Winfrey Network showing someone who isn't Oprah (*)???

That old man is wearing an earring! I once saw an old man shouting at things. True story! What's for dinner? *hangs up phone*

*turns to page 31, but keeps finger in current page*

Do you have one of those miniature organ grinder monkeys up there, turning the crank?

I'd like to imagine she spotted something wrong in her oatmeal, shrunk herself ala Honey, I Shunk the Kids, and dove right in. This is her moment of discovery.

Good enough for NBC. Someone give that man the Tonight Show!

If my Brita had hair like Farrah Fawcett's in the filter, I would take it straight back to Walmart.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, things then quickly go awry