[Commence the hypnotic beats and nearly-naked dancing]

[Starts planning trip to New Mexico desert]

Can we discuss why, in L&O season 8 episode 2, the vase on the table of Briscoe's apartment was green in one shot, and blue in the next?  Can we discuss that???

You take that back!

Mr. Fincher, you should be ashamed for directing the theatrical release of Girls Gone Wild.  I expected better from you.

Having never seen the show, I'm going to venture this was (completely expected) / (a bonehead move) by ABC execs.  (Well done) / (drink deeply of this vial containing my tears).

[Turns to the right, coughs]

@TheTacoBellbell:disqus If you were a sitcom and did nothing but that every week, I would still watch EVERY episode.

Syria is a country now?  Nice job, Macedonians!  What will they think of next?

Baseketball wasn't, strictly speaking, awful.

I'd crack a window, but consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!  Of course, there's always… my way…

I'd tell you, but you know, patents pending and all.  I will reveal, however, that you need the following items to play a round: two tons of rusty scrap metal, a blood diamond, hair from Russell Crow's back, and five pressed nun outfits (with wings).

Wait… you're not asking because you're putting together an A.V. Club Play-At-Home Game, are you?  Cause I'm putting together an A.V. Club Play-At-Home Game!

Charlie Chaplin?  Jessica Chastain with a mustache.

Simple: hire a personal assistant.  You will have no problem getting someone to remember your movie choices if you provide them full health coverage.

Is it long distance?  If not, down the hall, to the right.

JP4 Sponsored by Degree Antiperspirant for Men

[shifts eyes slowly from side to side, slowly reinstates pants]

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This ribbing is so we won't have a baby!