Let's be honest. This is good news for a lot of Weezer fans, too.

This is like that time the A.V. Club tried to tell me that "Ghostbusters" wasn't actually funny.

There's an AP for that.

He means 3-D chess.

You forgot lesbians.

That? That's just temple scruff.

Time to unthaw the 35-year-old Omar Sharif clone?

It's also bathetic and non-dialectical materialist, so take that into consideration.

30 Things That Only Officers of Monitor-Class Warships Will Understand

I feel like Model's hatred of "Lotus" has come up before, and it always kind of catches me off guard. There is nothing wrong with that song. "Radio Song," I like it, but I understand why people hate it. "Lotus"—what is there to hate?

Mike may be all coy about not knowing what this video is all about, but, come on—that second verse about the guy named Michael with the dick bigger than a tower? So, given Minaj's oft-stated pro-dick views, I think we know where she stands on this one. (She stands over his tower-sized dick.)

Nor will any other brothers deny it.

Steady as a bitch, we're flyin' over butt

Ooh, it's a rare CHROME Soloflex.

ARTHROPOD PHYLUM!

I have a giant monster monocle I can sell you. It crushes a city block whenever a blueblood Kaiju is shocked by something.

I assumed they were playing the local pop-country radio station*, which has as much to do with Emmylou as it does with Kanye—but I'll endure a slap or two just for inadvertently insinuating anything of the kind.

Well, to be fair, they are also targeting all right-thinking people who don't have sucky taste in music.

CHECK YOUR GODDAMN PRIVILEGE, DRUNK DAVE

That kitten makes Taylor Swift look like Malcom X.